nursing school is hardcore this semester, but I have no excuse to fail. this is what I want to do, i'm not going to fuck it up. plus we've started psychiatric clinical rotation in addition to regular med/surg this semester.... it might sound cruel, but it's just honest - seeing the serious problems these people have makes me feel a lot better because I know for the most part I've got my shit under control.
I've been in a psyche ward once before when I took a lot of pills at college and I remember the complete terror I felt when they transferred me from the emergency room to the psychiatric unit. I remember before I attempted suicide (and even a few times after) I used to think about being committed, about just giving up and removing myself from society.... as soon as I was in there I felt smothered and imprisoned and did everything I could to get out of there. Amazingly enough, I did get out within 24 hours, only because my parents drove 7 hours south from NH to NY to come and get me. That doesn't usually happen.
I remember everyone I met was kind, encouraging, and supportive. I was horribly afraid and they took care of me and were happy for me when I was able to leave instead of resentful or angry. For that reason I was the only student who went to the closed ward today. I wasn't afraid and I knew I was going to meet some interesting people, not monsters, and I did.
In lecture, one of the professors mentioned an article about psyche nurses who were mentally ill, explaining that once they followed treatment and their condition improved, they made better nurses because of their empathy. Before this clinical rotation I was afraid again, especially afraid that my own shit was going to come out and cause me to break down at a bad moment. After tonight, it's a distinct possiblity that someday I'll be a psyche nurse. Maybe not right away, but after I've got some experience, I'd definitely like to work with these people.
Enough introspection. Time to hit the books!
I've been in a psyche ward once before when I took a lot of pills at college and I remember the complete terror I felt when they transferred me from the emergency room to the psychiatric unit. I remember before I attempted suicide (and even a few times after) I used to think about being committed, about just giving up and removing myself from society.... as soon as I was in there I felt smothered and imprisoned and did everything I could to get out of there. Amazingly enough, I did get out within 24 hours, only because my parents drove 7 hours south from NH to NY to come and get me. That doesn't usually happen.
I remember everyone I met was kind, encouraging, and supportive. I was horribly afraid and they took care of me and were happy for me when I was able to leave instead of resentful or angry. For that reason I was the only student who went to the closed ward today. I wasn't afraid and I knew I was going to meet some interesting people, not monsters, and I did.
In lecture, one of the professors mentioned an article about psyche nurses who were mentally ill, explaining that once they followed treatment and their condition improved, they made better nurses because of their empathy. Before this clinical rotation I was afraid again, especially afraid that my own shit was going to come out and cause me to break down at a bad moment. After tonight, it's a distinct possiblity that someday I'll be a psyche nurse. Maybe not right away, but after I've got some experience, I'd definitely like to work with these people.
Enough introspection. Time to hit the books!
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<3 jeremy