hmmmmhmmmmmhmmmmm
Life is becoming increasingly more difficult.
I had another panic attack today, or so I assume it to be. I couldn't breathe, heart was racing, dizzy feeling, then I burst into tears. I've never actually gotten so nervous I cried before. I'm going to have to blame this one on work, Mondays are always awful there. It isn't just because it is Monday, I mean, I don't get Saturdays and Sundays off so it is just another day to me... but MY GOAT people are more obnoxious and angrier on Mondays than any other day of the week. Working "Customer Service" is such a damn joke.
I'm getting more and more stressed lately with everything coming so close together. Bills upon bills upon bills, bitchy roommate that acts like my mother (I rarely go home anymore because I can't stand her & I don't want to blow up and yell at her), dreadful work & no sign of a decent job in sight, too much time, not enough time, wants and needs, all on top of feeling like total crap most of the time which all brings on these nervous feelings.
Another thing to add to the list of woes is my Future. It is exciting, yet extremely extremely scary... I would love to just say everything will work out and i'll be happy and ok... but I can't bring myself to do that just yet.
My lovely boyfriend and I have been throwing around the idea of moving to Germany in a few years. I love Germany and everything about it & he found a few great Film schools he would like to attend. Thing is I don't know how the hell I can dig myself out of debt and save enough money to live in Germany and support the both of us while he attends school. I've prettymuch given up on the idea of school for me for the time being, seeing as I owe the school a shit-ton and I hated every minute of the 3 years I did attend college. Also I hate my job like the fire of a thousand suns... but if I keep with my job for the next 2 years (1 yr 8months to be precise. shouldn't be hard, right? I've already been there 2 & 1/2 yrs) and do really well I can put in for a transfer since my company has centers in Germany near where I would be moving(and it would be a different client! YAY!). I don't know what to do with my life and that freaks me out. I hope to figure my life out soon... I just feel so lost and useless. =(
Life is becoming increasingly more difficult.
I had another panic attack today, or so I assume it to be. I couldn't breathe, heart was racing, dizzy feeling, then I burst into tears. I've never actually gotten so nervous I cried before. I'm going to have to blame this one on work, Mondays are always awful there. It isn't just because it is Monday, I mean, I don't get Saturdays and Sundays off so it is just another day to me... but MY GOAT people are more obnoxious and angrier on Mondays than any other day of the week. Working "Customer Service" is such a damn joke.
I'm getting more and more stressed lately with everything coming so close together. Bills upon bills upon bills, bitchy roommate that acts like my mother (I rarely go home anymore because I can't stand her & I don't want to blow up and yell at her), dreadful work & no sign of a decent job in sight, too much time, not enough time, wants and needs, all on top of feeling like total crap most of the time which all brings on these nervous feelings.
Another thing to add to the list of woes is my Future. It is exciting, yet extremely extremely scary... I would love to just say everything will work out and i'll be happy and ok... but I can't bring myself to do that just yet.
My lovely boyfriend and I have been throwing around the idea of moving to Germany in a few years. I love Germany and everything about it & he found a few great Film schools he would like to attend. Thing is I don't know how the hell I can dig myself out of debt and save enough money to live in Germany and support the both of us while he attends school. I've prettymuch given up on the idea of school for me for the time being, seeing as I owe the school a shit-ton and I hated every minute of the 3 years I did attend college. Also I hate my job like the fire of a thousand suns... but if I keep with my job for the next 2 years (1 yr 8months to be precise. shouldn't be hard, right? I've already been there 2 & 1/2 yrs) and do really well I can put in for a transfer since my company has centers in Germany near where I would be moving(and it would be a different client! YAY!). I don't know what to do with my life and that freaks me out. I hope to figure my life out soon... I just feel so lost and useless. =(
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
temper:
^^ Let me guess, Strider's never been out of Texas, right?
annielein:
Hahaha, my thoughts exactly! Either that or he's not met any Germans...