annielane

I got back from Thanksgiving Break [or thxgvng, as someone wrote it] at 4am Sunday morning and slept until 4pm. I have a nasty habit of sleeping until the sun goes down lately. I guess that's one way to lose a tan, haha. I got really fucking stressed out and anxious and I felt like I had taken too much ritalin again [even though I'm not on it anymore]. It was terrible. Not to mention the anxiety dreams I've been having. I usually don't dream either [I know, EVERYONE dreams, you know what I mean]. So I felt terrible and instead of doing work I just watched 7 hours of Grey's Anatomy episodes and went to bed. Not the best idea, but it felt good anyway. Today I got up [after ANOTHER anxiety dream] and went to class at 10a and didn't really wake up until about 3:30 when I went to work in admissions. Tomorrow is therapy, thank goodness. My old anxieties about my weight are creeping up on me again, but I think that's a result of being so stressed. I'd say I wish I were thin so that these thoughts wouldn't happen, but I know better than that. The sudden pimple attack on my face isn't helping matters either. My hormones are going fucking crazy. But I can see my profile picture and though it's not actually a 'good' picture of me because I'm making a stupid face, I can see my beauty. That makes me feel incredibly better. I think that tomorrow night or Wednesday after registration I'll go to the gym to get some of this stress/anxiety out in a productive manner. I went to the gym shortly before Thanksgiving break and it felt so good! I couldn't believe that I had been avoiding that all term. I also recently realized that it took me all term to get to panic mode, whereas last term and the term before were entire terms of horrible consta-panic mode. I'm very proud! The more I think about how good I'm actually doing, the better I do, too. Things are looking up, though still crazy.
I hope all of your lives are going well. Also, I need more friends on SG, haha.
<3