annden

I don't write very often never really have much change in my life, like i'm bound by a constant pattern. I try to change the way things are and find im just following the same pattern anyways that I've come to hate but cant seam to get away from. constantly I think about the things id like to have happen like a dream even tho all i do is strip myself further away from those i care about seeking to be with the one person i consider the one but i think ive screwed even that up 11 years of friendship possibly rocked to near death in one weekend one truly wonderful weekend.

Yet I'm not sure if my mind is playing tricks on me again i know i read into things more then i ever should always choosing the worst out of anything no matter the size of the thing that has bothered me why must i do this to myself all to often losing sleep over nothing that was or will ever be doubt ill ever truly be happy even if i found it I'm sure id screw it up.