annajoy

*cough cough*: i think i am coming down with something, scratchy throat, stuffy head and chest. weather changes, stress, and people at working being
sick probably did it. no fever, i can tolerate it if it does not get any worse.

music notes: going to see n*e*r*d and spymob tonight. looking forward to it. but i downloaded a couple of spymob songs from the brand new album, and was not impressed. i also gave a listen to the latest from momus, and it does not disappoint. i donated a dollar, you should too.

love and such: j. and i had a good talk on tuesday night, worked through a lot of what was happening over the weekend. i took responsibility for the
shit i did, and what i handled badly, and what i am committed to learn, and i am giving him the time he is asking for to heal and work through the stuff that is upsetting him. we will talk again, and i have faith we will be able to set boundaries we can both be
comfortable with. it was responsible, mature, loving talking.

31: my birthday is in a few weeks, and my parents have been hinting that they are going to get me an ipod. *backflip of joy*. this would be wonderful. happy
happy!

lenten symbols: it is "holy week". the lenten theme at my church this year is:
finding your roots. on easter morning the choir is singing an adaptation of the apostles creed. it basically repeats "i believe in...i believe in...i believe i believe i believe." but the thing is, i am not sure what i believe. at the moment i think that it is my choice to decide if god exists, and if i say it it true, then it is. but that is not enough for me right now. i want to believe that god exists whether i decided it or not. i want to think god is
always reaching out to me, never failing, unconditionally loving me, no matter how much i reject that love. that is what my church reaches. but i don't believe it right now. will singing the words "i believe" over and over again help? i'll let you know.