SEX IS BAD.....
when it's not used properly.
Anyone who as been reading my blogs over the last few days - all three of you, thanks for the comment - know I have had a rough few weeks and have been doing a lot of thinking...
I've been reading this book, about a kid with cancer who's a dead girl walking, and there was this really sweet bit where she got talking to this boy and, well, you can already see where that's going. What got me about it was it made me do a lot of thinking and I think I realised something important.
Sex is great, but it can be really bad for you. I don't mean STD's or anything. I mean it plays with your head. In the past whenever I have been seeing a girl we have always had sex really early on in the relationship, and that huge swirl of emotions has been what made things so crap.
When I get in that place, I feel so close to the girl I am with I can't think straight; my emotions run away with me and before I know it I am convinced I am in love, things race ahead, and every single time I then realised I'm not. It's meant that I have hurt some really good women who didn't deserve it because I couldn't control my labido.
I guess the silver lining is that at least now I know this then maybe I can stop doing it. The difficult bit is sometimes you don't want to be in love. Sometimes you just want to shag the arse of a few random people, have some fun, not worry about deep and meaningful or where things are going. I think unless it's a one nighter I just can't do that. I'm too damned sensitive.
I don't have any great conclusions to this, so if you were hoping for some grand revelation I apologise but you're not going to get it. All I know is when it looks like sex might be a possibility I have to make a very quick decision about whether I want to see if this could go somewhere or whether I am happy with a night of fun and nothing else. Life can really suck.
Any thoughts?
when it's not used properly.
Anyone who as been reading my blogs over the last few days - all three of you, thanks for the comment - know I have had a rough few weeks and have been doing a lot of thinking...
I've been reading this book, about a kid with cancer who's a dead girl walking, and there was this really sweet bit where she got talking to this boy and, well, you can already see where that's going. What got me about it was it made me do a lot of thinking and I think I realised something important.
Sex is great, but it can be really bad for you. I don't mean STD's or anything. I mean it plays with your head. In the past whenever I have been seeing a girl we have always had sex really early on in the relationship, and that huge swirl of emotions has been what made things so crap.
When I get in that place, I feel so close to the girl I am with I can't think straight; my emotions run away with me and before I know it I am convinced I am in love, things race ahead, and every single time I then realised I'm not. It's meant that I have hurt some really good women who didn't deserve it because I couldn't control my labido.
I guess the silver lining is that at least now I know this then maybe I can stop doing it. The difficult bit is sometimes you don't want to be in love. Sometimes you just want to shag the arse of a few random people, have some fun, not worry about deep and meaningful or where things are going. I think unless it's a one nighter I just can't do that. I'm too damned sensitive.
I don't have any great conclusions to this, so if you were hoping for some grand revelation I apologise but you're not going to get it. All I know is when it looks like sex might be a possibility I have to make a very quick decision about whether I want to see if this could go somewhere or whether I am happy with a night of fun and nothing else. Life can really suck.
Any thoughts?