Some days I donot feel human . I tend to think of myself as a zombie who has grown tired of searching for brains to eat and survie on . Instead I have evolved to a zombie who survives soely on coffee.
I have not been able to get more than 4 hours of sleep a night for over 2 weeks now. I think my mind is finally trying to reboot but for some reason it is stuck in some endless look trying to end a hung application.
I have been sitting here for 10 minutes jsut staring at my screen watching people sigh in and out of the various messengers I use. I can help but feel it is some how poetic. I have become this techno zombie I have very few rw relationships outside of my family. Most of my close friends have moved to kansas city the rest have moved on to adulthood with no time for friends of old.
Almost all of my friends at this point exist online even the small hadfull of local friends I have I tend to almost only interact with online. I feel like I am only a step or two ahead of being able to toally live within some virtual world where I could experience all of hte horrors and sensations of real life minus all the wasted time. I went to the bar the other night I felt very out of plac eI think anymore I am in my own world. I sat at a table by the wall just watching everyone else live. I watched my buddies very slopily try and fail to pick up women and do their little cooky mating dances. Me I sat in the corner and had a blast laughing and trying to figure everyone out.
I really need to change things in my life but seem to lack the energy to do so. I can sit and know i am making a mistake but just let it happen because it takes less effort to do nothing. I sometimes feel like i should disconnect form computes for a month or so and let my brain rebuild the pathways to the real world. I find myself thinking of life as a forum and I am not starting to repy the way I would in a forum which is not good for my career. Trying to send a coworker to tubgirl.com or lemonparty.org only serves to work me out of a job
well I am feeling the overwhelming zombie craving for coffee come back so I must go get some before i start eating brains.
I have not been able to get more than 4 hours of sleep a night for over 2 weeks now. I think my mind is finally trying to reboot but for some reason it is stuck in some endless look trying to end a hung application.
I have been sitting here for 10 minutes jsut staring at my screen watching people sigh in and out of the various messengers I use. I can help but feel it is some how poetic. I have become this techno zombie I have very few rw relationships outside of my family. Most of my close friends have moved to kansas city the rest have moved on to adulthood with no time for friends of old.
Almost all of my friends at this point exist online even the small hadfull of local friends I have I tend to almost only interact with online. I feel like I am only a step or two ahead of being able to toally live within some virtual world where I could experience all of hte horrors and sensations of real life minus all the wasted time. I went to the bar the other night I felt very out of plac eI think anymore I am in my own world. I sat at a table by the wall just watching everyone else live. I watched my buddies very slopily try and fail to pick up women and do their little cooky mating dances. Me I sat in the corner and had a blast laughing and trying to figure everyone out.
I really need to change things in my life but seem to lack the energy to do so. I can sit and know i am making a mistake but just let it happen because it takes less effort to do nothing. I sometimes feel like i should disconnect form computes for a month or so and let my brain rebuild the pathways to the real world. I find myself thinking of life as a forum and I am not starting to repy the way I would in a forum which is not good for my career. Trying to send a coworker to tubgirl.com or lemonparty.org only serves to work me out of a job
well I am feeling the overwhelming zombie craving for coffee come back so I must go get some before i start eating brains. 
lackluster:
thankyou for your concern... i know if i waited it would just be more painful. 1/10th of my life was waisted, so i hope i took somethi from it. if not only, to know not to make the same mistake twice.
lackluster:
um... something. i forgot what. but um... HI. sinner.