update update time for an update 
well lets see I got a really good job offer but it wa sin chicago and I just donot think it would be good to rip avery away from family at this age. It was an excellent offer however there are more important things . A job is a job family is forever.I had a great holiday weekend much self abuse. I did however think alot about lonliness. It seems to be one of the most destructive human conditions. People do insane things when they are alone of when they feel aoone in the world. Lonliness can manifest itsself in so many ways as well. In order to stop the pain people tend to lower standards and put themselves in positions that are very very unhealthy just to avoid ever coming close to the monster. I know this doesnt make alot of sense I am just putting my internal ramblings on here so they make more sense to me . Moving along so did you ever have someone in the past you were "involved " with who left a sour taste in your mouth . And no I am not meaning in a dirty way just left you with a certain impression like they were crazy so on. Then find out later that they are not so crazy and maybe you missed out on something really good. I know to think of thngs like htis is silly because you can what if yourself into a padded room . I just find when I rethink my experiences wiht people that I tend to be rather judgmental and tend to hold a grudge lik enone other. Often when i rethink old situations wiht people II understand them alot better now which is just funny to me. So my new goal this week is not to be negative . I am going to do all I can to be as positive as possible and give people a second chance. Well some people some people thye should just die. See didnt make it 10 seocnds sigh. Well anyways I am off to work some more wooooohooo .
well lets see I got a really good job offer but it wa sin chicago and I just donot think it would be good to rip avery away from family at this age. It was an excellent offer however there are more important things . A job is a job family is forever.I had a great holiday weekend much self abuse. I did however think alot about lonliness. It seems to be one of the most destructive human conditions. People do insane things when they are alone of when they feel aoone in the world. Lonliness can manifest itsself in so many ways as well. In order to stop the pain people tend to lower standards and put themselves in positions that are very very unhealthy just to avoid ever coming close to the monster. I know this doesnt make alot of sense I am just putting my internal ramblings on here so they make more sense to me . Moving along so did you ever have someone in the past you were "involved " with who left a sour taste in your mouth . And no I am not meaning in a dirty way just left you with a certain impression like they were crazy so on. Then find out later that they are not so crazy and maybe you missed out on something really good. I know to think of thngs like htis is silly because you can what if yourself into a padded room . I just find when I rethink my experiences wiht people that I tend to be rather judgmental and tend to hold a grudge lik enone other. Often when i rethink old situations wiht people II understand them alot better now which is just funny to me. So my new goal this week is not to be negative . I am going to do all I can to be as positive as possible and give people a second chance. Well some people some people thye should just die. See didnt make it 10 seocnds sigh. Well anyways I am off to work some more wooooohooo . 
lackluster:
haha the smiling has become semi-rediculous. out of control.
lackluster:
what do you suggest gets pulled?