angrymeat

hmmm well its another day and the wait for my house is fucking killing me . my mom goes in for back surgery tommorow which kinda has me a little freaked out. I have had a day filled with horrid images of how my father would handle it if my mother were to die its not pretty. work has been a little annoying these days starting to wish i had become a farmer or some shit like that . I had my first father cave in last night. We took avery to the movies and while we were waiting in line i sat him on my lap and we played cruisin usa. you must understand my son has a love for trucks and cars. so when we had to go into the movie he got upset. I told him however that when the movie wasover we would come drive the trucks some more. all though the movie he kept saying drive truck after movie daddy? of course i said yes well after the movie he took off running up the hall with his little arms up to his chest running as fast as he could yelling come on go go come on drive trucks daddy. of course we get over there and the game is turned off. he was crushed he just got this blank look then dropped to the floor moaning why why . it was unlike anything i had heard him do to this point. we left the theater and he was so upset not fit throwing upset but you could tell he was jsut damn sad. so of course i felt totally wretched. I drove him accross town to the local walmart and they had a truck game in there arcade. he was sooo happy so while he was doing that I went in and bought him a rc truck which he stayed up until 11:30 waiting for the batteries to charge. after that we had to let him sleep with the truck . its amazing how much we change when we have children. I never knew that i could ever love anyone sooo much. I now know why my father was so hard on me growing up. I now understand that half panicked half angry look he would have when he caught me sneakig abck in the house.