angrymeat

HOLY SHIT !!!!! I jsut found a bunch of 80's mp3's . I was sitting here and heard without you by Motley Crue . I was imediatly wisked back in time to 7th grade when I dedicated that song to Coltier Rider my first love and heartbreak. Of course she most likely doesnt remember me . She dumped me for a dirty headbanger named Shaun Sizemore. Thats tight fucker I remember and I am coming for ya. I am just amazed sometimes how music can have such an affect on us. It changes my mood which is good alot of times. However this morning I was thinking about how Avery (my son ) will not really grow up with any cousins. My sisters all have kid 9 well 8 now between them. All of there kids either live with there fathers or are in jail so on . I have never really been close with any of them except dustin who dies a little over a year ago. sigh .... I really wish he could have met Avery . I still carry alot of guilt for his death . I keep rethinking had I stayed in springfield and taken care of him maybe he wouldnt of felt so alone .I know I shouldnt feel that way that everyone is responsible for there own actions blah blah blah . I donot think I will ever forgive myself for deserting him however I will find varying ways of dealing wiht it I suposse. Doh now I have depressed all of you . I say all of you like anyone actually reads this crap anyways well im all bummed now I am gonna go home