angrymeat

so there is alot new today where to begin. I have an interview with a very large company for a pretty cool job only bad thing about the job is its more than double my current commute. I may also soon have an interview for the local school district as a network tech which could also beinteresting however no room for advancment. I am not sure what I am going to do I hate my current job however It is like my baby. I built this network from the ground up and it would be very odd to hand it off to someone else. I hvae been thinking alot about life lately and how quickly it can go away . It seems since this got stuck in my head saturday I have been pretty depressed. Dont get me wrong I am not afraid that I am going to die or anything. I accept someday I will and am cool with that. My problem lies with my son hte thought that anything and everything can happen to him at anytime is scary as hell. I guess thi is one of those things about being a parant. Finding a way to bury that fear and function. I guess I am also afraid that someday I will cause pain in his life by dying . Some day he will cry for my death which is a horrid thought. It is strange how sensitive I have become to these sorts of things lately . Since Avery was born I have been like this. It is just one of the things no one ever tells you about being a parent. well I am going to go get some work done mainly because it will keep my mind busy and keep me awake as well.