A few things...
- I just finished a really long work week. Now I have three days to chill out.
- I've been working to establish a few connections that extend beyond the professional domain.
- I will spend my free weekend meditating on life as it I know it presently. I will share my findings.
- Nothing seems to be filling the Whole.
- Letting go after it's already over shouldn't be so difficult.
- Everyone believes in something... I believe I'll have another drink.
/.
Edit:... [insert epiphany here]
Upon reflection and examination within this mess of a mind, I've come to the conclusion that can't be called anything but inconclusive.
I'm not sure I want to get over what has happened. It is unlike anything I have dealt with before. I've lost things dear to me. I've butted heads with contradictory ideals. And while, presently, these things are true once again, I can't simply shrug them off as a "part of life" in accordance to the "individuals involved." I feel like if I accept what has happened, and choose to move on, forgive and forget, compromise, or settle, I will be untrue to myself and to objective truth to an obscene degree.
Now where does that leave me? To where does the Path lead now? How can I recover if I choose not to recover? All rhetorical questions, by the way. I have my answers. I've had them before the Summer began. What masochist spirit possessed me to allow these events to unfold when I saw them coming long before fate itself?
Perhaps I wanted it. I tried to mention what was to come, but I hesitated. It is unfair to interfere in the Paths of others. I distanced myself in preparation for the Summer (surely you can confirm that), but when the time finally came, I changed my mind. Yet another regret. I'm not emotionally sensitive, but I am emotionally intensive. To have an effect on me is a noteworthy feat. Oh what a burden and a blessing is this understanding of people.
I'd like to talk, but I couldn't bring myself to initiate. It's probably not a good idea anyway. It's best that one finds truth for themselves. I've tried to pass on what I could. Who knows how much actually stuck? I wish I could say each person is a mystery until you get to know them, but the mystery only really lasts for a few minutes once you learn how to listen and not just hear. That last part sounds incredibly arrogant, I know. There's not much I can say, however, to sound otherwise. Sorry
- I just finished a really long work week. Now I have three days to chill out.
- I've been working to establish a few connections that extend beyond the professional domain.
- I will spend my free weekend meditating on life as it I know it presently. I will share my findings.
- Nothing seems to be filling the Whole.
- Letting go after it's already over shouldn't be so difficult.
- Everyone believes in something... I believe I'll have another drink.
/.
Edit:... [insert epiphany here]
Upon reflection and examination within this mess of a mind, I've come to the conclusion that can't be called anything but inconclusive.
I'm not sure I want to get over what has happened. It is unlike anything I have dealt with before. I've lost things dear to me. I've butted heads with contradictory ideals. And while, presently, these things are true once again, I can't simply shrug them off as a "part of life" in accordance to the "individuals involved." I feel like if I accept what has happened, and choose to move on, forgive and forget, compromise, or settle, I will be untrue to myself and to objective truth to an obscene degree.
Now where does that leave me? To where does the Path lead now? How can I recover if I choose not to recover? All rhetorical questions, by the way. I have my answers. I've had them before the Summer began. What masochist spirit possessed me to allow these events to unfold when I saw them coming long before fate itself?
Perhaps I wanted it. I tried to mention what was to come, but I hesitated. It is unfair to interfere in the Paths of others. I distanced myself in preparation for the Summer (surely you can confirm that), but when the time finally came, I changed my mind. Yet another regret. I'm not emotionally sensitive, but I am emotionally intensive. To have an effect on me is a noteworthy feat. Oh what a burden and a blessing is this understanding of people.
I'd like to talk, but I couldn't bring myself to initiate. It's probably not a good idea anyway. It's best that one finds truth for themselves. I've tried to pass on what I could. Who knows how much actually stuck? I wish I could say each person is a mystery until you get to know them, but the mystery only really lasts for a few minutes once you learn how to listen and not just hear. That last part sounds incredibly arrogant, I know. There's not much I can say, however, to sound otherwise. Sorry
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I know I'm out of my mind *hugs*
may things...... improve heh