Minor Threat and the straight edge conspiracy
"Youths oppress my people,
women rule over them.
O my people, your guides lead you astray;
they turn you from the path."
(Isaiah 3:12)
After weeks of undercover investigations I can exclusively reveal to you that the straight edge heavy metal band, Minor Threat, were in fact a group of dangerous subversives who hoped to seize power and install a nazi-communist dictatorship. Basing their philosophy on the teachings of Mao Tse Tung and Adolf Hitler, the band devised their own agenda which was to abolish religion and alcohol. The members of the band also failed to live up to the high personal standards they advocated, as it is now widely known that some of the band were marijuana addicts.
The 'X'
The straight edge movement was founded in 1980 by Ian MacKaye (shown right, with his band Minor Threat). Their emblem was a swastika with the end bits removed from the cross. This was to symbolise that they were nazis, yet also communists as the 'X' also represents the hammer and sickle, which adorns the sinister red flags of communist nations, but without the metal bits. So it stands for two handles.
The straight edge lifestyle edict
They advocated a lifestyle that meant abstinence from sex and drugs, which is to be commended, but also asked their members to refrain from drinking and pipe smoking. This meant that they would refuse communion in a church. Jesus' miracle at the wedding (see John 2: 1-11) was a sign that God likes people to have a drink, so the teachings of the straight edge movement run contrary to ALL Christian philosophy.
Ian MacKaye: potential nazi-communist tyrant?
Ian MacKaye formed Minor Threat to seize power and install a nazi-communist dictatorship. And also to fund his marijuana habit. Once in power, his straight edge government would have abolished contraceptives and drugs, which could only have been a good thing, but would have also outlawed religion and church wine. The detestable practice of skateboarding would have been compulsory for all teenagers and we would have been forced to have skinhead haircuts. In this respect, their philosophy was similar to that of Adolf Hiter and Chairman Mao of China, as they wanted everybody to be the same, but they would have eliminated any "undesirables". Probably.
Credibility blown by mind-bending marijuana addiction
Thankfully this did not happen as Ian MacKaye's credibility was destroyed when it was discovered that he was injecting the lethal drug, marijuana. The photograph on the right shows this pathetic man after yet another one of his "fixes". The straight edge movement is being kept alive by a group of foolish fanatics, but is too unfashionable for most teenagers, so hopefully it will die out soon.
This story illustrates once more just how evil rock music is. I implore any parents reading this site to go through your childrens' CD collection and to publicly burn any offensive material.
"Youths oppress my people,
women rule over them.
O my people, your guides lead you astray;
they turn you from the path."
(Isaiah 3:12)
After weeks of undercover investigations I can exclusively reveal to you that the straight edge heavy metal band, Minor Threat, were in fact a group of dangerous subversives who hoped to seize power and install a nazi-communist dictatorship. Basing their philosophy on the teachings of Mao Tse Tung and Adolf Hitler, the band devised their own agenda which was to abolish religion and alcohol. The members of the band also failed to live up to the high personal standards they advocated, as it is now widely known that some of the band were marijuana addicts.
The 'X'
The straight edge movement was founded in 1980 by Ian MacKaye (shown right, with his band Minor Threat). Their emblem was a swastika with the end bits removed from the cross. This was to symbolise that they were nazis, yet also communists as the 'X' also represents the hammer and sickle, which adorns the sinister red flags of communist nations, but without the metal bits. So it stands for two handles.
The straight edge lifestyle edict
They advocated a lifestyle that meant abstinence from sex and drugs, which is to be commended, but also asked their members to refrain from drinking and pipe smoking. This meant that they would refuse communion in a church. Jesus' miracle at the wedding (see John 2: 1-11) was a sign that God likes people to have a drink, so the teachings of the straight edge movement run contrary to ALL Christian philosophy.
Ian MacKaye: potential nazi-communist tyrant?
Ian MacKaye formed Minor Threat to seize power and install a nazi-communist dictatorship. And also to fund his marijuana habit. Once in power, his straight edge government would have abolished contraceptives and drugs, which could only have been a good thing, but would have also outlawed religion and church wine. The detestable practice of skateboarding would have been compulsory for all teenagers and we would have been forced to have skinhead haircuts. In this respect, their philosophy was similar to that of Adolf Hiter and Chairman Mao of China, as they wanted everybody to be the same, but they would have eliminated any "undesirables". Probably.
Credibility blown by mind-bending marijuana addiction
Thankfully this did not happen as Ian MacKaye's credibility was destroyed when it was discovered that he was injecting the lethal drug, marijuana. The photograph on the right shows this pathetic man after yet another one of his "fixes". The straight edge movement is being kept alive by a group of foolish fanatics, but is too unfashionable for most teenagers, so hopefully it will die out soon.
This story illustrates once more just how evil rock music is. I implore any parents reading this site to go through your childrens' CD collection and to publicly burn any offensive material.