For this week blog @rambo & @missy want to know the ridiculous ways we've hurt ourselves.
I know everyone thinks they're clumsy but I'm REALLY accident-prone and often in weird situations so it was hard for me to pick just one story. I was torn between when I got cut by a dildo, the time I got skate-raped, and the birthday in which I got my nose broken by a stripper's butt.
See what I mean?
I'm gonna go with the nose break because it was the most recent of the three.
I bartend at a strip club and have pretty much worked every Saturday night for the last 3 years, so the club always makes a point to celebrate my birthday on a Saturday near my actual birthday. To celebrate birthdays, they will sometimes bring people on stage, put them in a chair, and have multiple dancers dance and molest the birthday person while the DJ makes jokes.
On my birthday last year, we were super busy and had a TON of dancers. Everyone was pretty overwhelmed, so I assumed I wouldn't be pulled from my job to be publicly molested for my birthday. I was wrong.
The club was standing room only when I heard the DJ announce my name and my manager started to pull me on stage. Almost every dancer working that night came up to dance and the first one immediately pulled off my top.
Although I was having fun, I kept telling them to speed it up so I could get back to work. At one point I thought they were done and I started to get up right when the dancer that is bodybuilder went to do a head stand in my lap. My nose and her rock hard ass collided against one another at full speed. I immediately heard a pop-type noise and felt blood running down my face and on to my bare chest.
The entire club went silent until someone suddenly made it rain a couple hundred dollars on us and everyone started clapping!
So that, folks, is how I got my nose broken by a stripper's butt on my birthday.
*takes a bow*
