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angelxrotten

G-Burg

Member Since 2004

Followers 11 Following 30

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Monday Nov 22, 2004

Nov 22, 2004
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XM Satellite Radio Kiss (XM 21)
3 Days Grace I Hate Everything About You

Once again I am confused about a great many things. I talked to the blonde goddess again today. I swear it might just be me, but she seems so perfect to me. I worry so that she does not seem to be into returning my phone calls. I am not so one with the stalker behavior and if she isn't interested I don't want to keep calling her. But ... we talked today and it seems like we can at least be friends. That's very cool even though I had hoped for something that maybe included holding hands. She's got a little boy, I have a son, so we are both single parents. We both have an obsession with Avril Lavigne. And did i mention, I think she's out of control hot? I guess I have a thing for Blondes now.

My employer provides this Employee assistance program. I was having a hard time with Juddy passing and all. A lot of things that had been boiling just below the surface just got out of control. I became so irritable. I just didn't have what it took to support myself and other people who were also saddened by the loss of a friend. I found myself starting to feel negatively toward people who really kind of needed my help. So I was not exactly one with the super powers. So I called the number and decided to have a session with one of the therapists. I realized today that i had a lot of bottled up feeling that I was simply not able to vent constructively. I've become quite obsessive about the inner workings of things, not just mechanical things, but relationships and such. I over analyze to such a degree that I can no longer see the proverbial forest through the trees.
I guess I'm officially broken now. I realized that Losing juddy was a catalyst, not a causality. It wasn't what made me all complicated and unreachable. It just accelerated a process that was already underway.
That's my new thing. Catalyst Vs Causality. It's a question of did you make something happen, or did you just make something happen sooner than it inevitably would have on its own?

I get three days off in a row this week, which should be a lot more restful that my usual days off. My grandmother is on a vacation to visit my Uncle in New Hampshire, so I get to be all alone in the house during the day. I enjoy having some private time. I'm just going to drink coffee and watch Buffy the Vampire slayer. I'm on the third DVD of the seventh season. So sad to have things come to an end, but now I have the complete series. There is one more season of Angel on dvd to be released early next year.
TV series on DVD is the best thing ever. No commercials, no more to be continued crap. I have a rampant media obsession as well. I love the escape fictional worlds provide. I'm not into the whole Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek thing. I willingly immerse myself in fiction to take my mind off the real worlds one hour at a time.

just_eric:
thats col that you had the strength to get help i wis that i could do the same thing ( i have an anger problem.. i hold it all in and dont ever show my feelings). ... i do the same thing with tv shows i just got nip/tuck..sweet biggrin
Nov 24, 2004

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