"Ordinary World"
Now Playing:
Dashboard Prophets - Ballad For Dead Friends
How are you feeling, do you feel ok? 'Cause I don't.
It keeps me reeling, will I ever be the same? No I won't.
It's a cold day in a cruel world.
I really wish I could have saved you, then you would have saved me from myself.
Right now, I could you a stiff drink to kill the pain that's deep inside my bones.
Its the first day of normal life after Justin passed. I'm finding that for the most part I'm doing ok, but then all of a sudden I'll be so grief stricken that I can't function. For a big part of the day at his viewing I felt nothing; I was completely numb. Then I felt guilty for not being sad. It's been so strange.
I know that Juddy would want us all to be happy. But it doesn't seem like the right thing to do. I don't want to go to work today. I suppose I have to start somewhere though right?
Today is my birthday. I am so completely surprised by how many people remembered that. Thank you to everyone who said happy birthday. I'm a year older and not a lot has changed over this year. I'm still working at the same job and living in the same place. Lat year at this time Lindsey was still a huge part of my life. Now there is no one. Well, No one in that roll. I have better friends now than I think I've ever had. But I'm still a little lonely. Nicci and BV have been really great and we all loved Justin, so i haven't been alone in feeling his loss.
I just want more than anything else to hear Juddy say Dude, Happy Birthday!
I guess as far as that goes, I didn't really get anything I wanted for my birthday. It's not a big deal. I learned a lot his year so I guess Knowledge was my gift.
Season seven of Buffy The Vampire Slayer is out on DVD. Usually I run to work and grab it right away. This time around I had been doing some Christmas Shopping on line at Amazon.com so I just Tacked it on to my order. I hope that it arrives today. I could really stand to just immerse myself in something fictional for a while to get away from the real.
Oh, I almost forgot something. You know, a number of people placed some items in Justin's casket; things that he loved in life or things that summed up what his life was about. You know what? If our fates had been reversed. He would have known EXACTLY what to send with me. I think that says a lot about how attentive he was. That even though I hadn't known him ten years or his entire life. He paid enough attention to his friends that he really knew them.
From:
The DollCase Diaries
Now Playing:
Dashboard Prophets - Ballad For Dead Friends
How are you feeling, do you feel ok? 'Cause I don't.
It keeps me reeling, will I ever be the same? No I won't.
It's a cold day in a cruel world.
I really wish I could have saved you, then you would have saved me from myself.
Right now, I could you a stiff drink to kill the pain that's deep inside my bones.
Its the first day of normal life after Justin passed. I'm finding that for the most part I'm doing ok, but then all of a sudden I'll be so grief stricken that I can't function. For a big part of the day at his viewing I felt nothing; I was completely numb. Then I felt guilty for not being sad. It's been so strange.
I know that Juddy would want us all to be happy. But it doesn't seem like the right thing to do. I don't want to go to work today. I suppose I have to start somewhere though right?
Today is my birthday. I am so completely surprised by how many people remembered that. Thank you to everyone who said happy birthday. I'm a year older and not a lot has changed over this year. I'm still working at the same job and living in the same place. Lat year at this time Lindsey was still a huge part of my life. Now there is no one. Well, No one in that roll. I have better friends now than I think I've ever had. But I'm still a little lonely. Nicci and BV have been really great and we all loved Justin, so i haven't been alone in feeling his loss.
I just want more than anything else to hear Juddy say Dude, Happy Birthday!
I guess as far as that goes, I didn't really get anything I wanted for my birthday. It's not a big deal. I learned a lot his year so I guess Knowledge was my gift.
Season seven of Buffy The Vampire Slayer is out on DVD. Usually I run to work and grab it right away. This time around I had been doing some Christmas Shopping on line at Amazon.com so I just Tacked it on to my order. I hope that it arrives today. I could really stand to just immerse myself in something fictional for a while to get away from the real.
Oh, I almost forgot something. You know, a number of people placed some items in Justin's casket; things that he loved in life or things that summed up what his life was about. You know what? If our fates had been reversed. He would have known EXACTLY what to send with me. I think that says a lot about how attentive he was. That even though I hadn't known him ten years or his entire life. He paid enough attention to his friends that he really knew them.
From:
The DollCase Diaries
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
noelani:
happy birthday
mle:
so was it a good birthday???
