Hello all....rant ahead i'm afraid. Not a very happy Angel_Ree right now. Because...
1) Rach and i have had a big row. I was meant to be going out with her in Sheffield last weekend - she was going to pay for me drinks etc...as my birthday pressie. Now, everyone who reads my blog knows that the last 3 weeks (to the day god damn) have been hell and damnation for me. So, i went out with my sister (as mentioned previously) and had a massive row last Friday, the night before i was due to go to Sheff. I ended up getting a taxi back home at 3.30am Saturday morning, very drunk and very upset. The row took a lot out of me, even though it was my fault. I woke up later Sat morning, and all the crap that has happened came flooding back. I could not face going out in Sheff - i didn't want the same to happen with Rach, i.e me end up having a go at her for no reason, or me getting upset and not knowing anyone so the only person there to look after me was her. I didn't think this was fair. So i pulled out. Admittedly, it was a bit harsh of me to pull out at the last minute, and i can understand why she was pissed off. But i kinda thought being dumped, trying to kill myself, being signed off work with depression and arguing with my sister combined to make a good reason for not going. Selfish i know, but its what i needed to do for me. I apologised profusly and told her i would definately come and see her soon. Now she refuses to talk to me and is talking shite about me to all our mutual friends behind my back. Classy. I have explained my position to her, but she is still angry, which makes me feel like an even bigger bitch than i did to begin with. Joy.
2) Met a nice lad last weekend. He's only 21 but he has taken me out a few times since (as friends). I made my position clear when we met - i have just broken up with someone i loved/cared about very much, and i do not want a relationship of any kind, with anyone, until i have sorted my head out and know what the hell is going on in my life. However he has made it very clear he would like to be a lot more and i haven't got a clue what to do. He is lovely, he makes me laugh and i really enjoy his company, but i still want my ex. I don't want to lead him on and hurt him, but i feel i've made a good new friend so i don't want to stop seeing him. I have no idea what to do for the best.
3) THE EX. Not the most recent one. The one before that. I have stayed friends with him since we broke up. I'm not sure why sometimes - he irritates me to the point of wanting to stab him on occasion. However, most of the time we get on well. He still holds a torch for me though - nay - a bonfire, and despite me telling him over and over 'never going to happen' he just don't get it. I've tried to see less of him, but he is like a bad smell, always hanging around. Besides, i don't want to fall out with him, and one of my best friends boyfriends is his best friend. (Does that make sense, lol) They live below me so its kinda hard for me to avoid him. But he proposed to me the other day - i of course thought he was joking. He then got tempremental when i joked about it and said no. What part of still in love with someone else does he not understand?! And i ended up feeling guilty for turning him down!!!!
Huuuuuuuh....rant over for now....
So, good things
1) Made quite a few new friends on here this week with me being off and being more able to chat to random people. Its all good!!!!
2) Went to Whitby last night for a few drinks. Had a right laugh, but ended up being jealous of all the Goth girls (its Goth Weekend) sexy corsets and little top hats...god damn!
3) Going to see SAW 4 on Monday i think - Woohoo!!!
4) Its the party tonight - i'm really hoping it will be a sucess, esp since Lilandra and hubby, Torgaddon and _killa are coming I'll be posting pixs as soon as i recover from my hangover after the party anyway
So what are all of your weekend plans? xxxx
1) Rach and i have had a big row. I was meant to be going out with her in Sheffield last weekend - she was going to pay for me drinks etc...as my birthday pressie. Now, everyone who reads my blog knows that the last 3 weeks (to the day god damn) have been hell and damnation for me. So, i went out with my sister (as mentioned previously) and had a massive row last Friday, the night before i was due to go to Sheff. I ended up getting a taxi back home at 3.30am Saturday morning, very drunk and very upset. The row took a lot out of me, even though it was my fault. I woke up later Sat morning, and all the crap that has happened came flooding back. I could not face going out in Sheff - i didn't want the same to happen with Rach, i.e me end up having a go at her for no reason, or me getting upset and not knowing anyone so the only person there to look after me was her. I didn't think this was fair. So i pulled out. Admittedly, it was a bit harsh of me to pull out at the last minute, and i can understand why she was pissed off. But i kinda thought being dumped, trying to kill myself, being signed off work with depression and arguing with my sister combined to make a good reason for not going. Selfish i know, but its what i needed to do for me. I apologised profusly and told her i would definately come and see her soon. Now she refuses to talk to me and is talking shite about me to all our mutual friends behind my back. Classy. I have explained my position to her, but she is still angry, which makes me feel like an even bigger bitch than i did to begin with. Joy.
2) Met a nice lad last weekend. He's only 21 but he has taken me out a few times since (as friends). I made my position clear when we met - i have just broken up with someone i loved/cared about very much, and i do not want a relationship of any kind, with anyone, until i have sorted my head out and know what the hell is going on in my life. However he has made it very clear he would like to be a lot more and i haven't got a clue what to do. He is lovely, he makes me laugh and i really enjoy his company, but i still want my ex. I don't want to lead him on and hurt him, but i feel i've made a good new friend so i don't want to stop seeing him. I have no idea what to do for the best.
3) THE EX. Not the most recent one. The one before that. I have stayed friends with him since we broke up. I'm not sure why sometimes - he irritates me to the point of wanting to stab him on occasion. However, most of the time we get on well. He still holds a torch for me though - nay - a bonfire, and despite me telling him over and over 'never going to happen' he just don't get it. I've tried to see less of him, but he is like a bad smell, always hanging around. Besides, i don't want to fall out with him, and one of my best friends boyfriends is his best friend. (Does that make sense, lol) They live below me so its kinda hard for me to avoid him. But he proposed to me the other day - i of course thought he was joking. He then got tempremental when i joked about it and said no. What part of still in love with someone else does he not understand?! And i ended up feeling guilty for turning him down!!!!
Huuuuuuuh....rant over for now....
So, good things
1) Made quite a few new friends on here this week with me being off and being more able to chat to random people. Its all good!!!!
2) Went to Whitby last night for a few drinks. Had a right laugh, but ended up being jealous of all the Goth girls (its Goth Weekend) sexy corsets and little top hats...god damn!
3) Going to see SAW 4 on Monday i think - Woohoo!!!
4) Its the party tonight - i'm really hoping it will be a sucess, esp since Lilandra and hubby, Torgaddon and _killa are coming
I'll be posting pixs as soon as i recover from my hangover after the party anyway
So what are all of your weekend plans? xxxx
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
enjoy your self hun. your not saying your sepnding the rest of your life with him.