andsoitgoes

Fuck.

I'd had my anxiety decently under check, and then the whole sick/stomach issue came up and it seems to have worsened.

I've always figured that my stomach and anxiety were tied together, and maybe it's not directly DUE to my stomach, maybe it's due to the guilt I felt for not doing anything the days I was sick, but it still seems to be there and my stomach still seems to be off, so I'm putting 2 and 2 together and I'm thinking the stomach issues are fucking with my anxiety...

I don't know when this is going to get better. I don't know what other drugs to take. The last psychiatrist I went to almost soured me on ever going back. The things she told me and the attitude in which she delivered the information to me was so callous. I thought I had a bad psychiatrist the first time, but hot damn she took the cake. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that some of her ideas were right, but the way the info was delivered was cold and heartless. She judged me for the things I'd done wrong and, I'm sorry, I thought the whole point was to not be judged?

WTF.

Anyway. Xanax, Valium... none of those work for me, they just make me want to sleep. The concotion I'm on right now is helping a bit, but due to the fact that I've been gaining weight since starting the Cipralex, I'm seriously contemplating telling it to GTFO and stopping it.

That leaves me with the Lamictal, and there's still a thought inside of me that it's not helping with my stomach issues, which have gotten MUCH worse over the last few years, but then my food allergies have worsened over the last few years so... well fuck. I don't know.

just... fuck.

/end bitchy blog.