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andrepeat

L.A.

Member Since 2003

Followers 63 Following 45

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Friday Jul 16, 2004

Jul 16, 2004
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ughhh, how do you deal with your parents that you love, but know theyr'e crazy.

i write music and sing with my piano and crap like that. my mother wants me so badly to have a recording of it. i'm personally not realy ready to put it in stone. i want anything that i finally record to be really good. i don't think i can explain everything leading up to this point but basicly my mother is a control freak and has to be soo involved in everything. so, she got me a few hours in her friends recording studio, which i planned to do wed (a few days ago) . i go in there, nervous but somewhat ready to record. my mom knows she makes me nervous so we agreed she wouldn't be there. she told me she would bring me a little something to eat that i could just shove down my throat and continue recording, more rejuvinated cause i would have eaten) so she comes, with no food, and sits down to listen to me record. so, then i had to ask her to leave which i knew would hurt her feelings. i ask her, she gets hurt, and leaves. so then i'm feeling really bad about that and i'm really hungry. so.. needless to say i didn't really want to record. i was going to go on with it, but needed just something small to eat. i called my mom to tell her i was gonna run out and get something. she yelled at me and said she was at trader joes buying me food, and to change my fucking attitude and get back in and record...
so, now i'm fucking crying cause of everything, and the guy at the recording studio is just watching me. i was so embarrased so i asked him if we could reschedule, we'd pay him for the hour i was there and come back another time. he said it was all good, he's human and understands what was going on. so i leave. my mom calls me and verbally rips my head off, telling me i'm selfish and ruined the recording guys day bacause of my temper tantrum and i needed to get back in there and keep recording. by this point i'm screaming at her, crying my eyes out, and feeling insanely like shit, i don't know about you, but singing my emotional ass music is the last goddamned thing i wanted to do right then. so i left. my mother has not called me since this happened, oh she called once and left me a message telling me "oh, i guess i will have to eat all this food i just went and got for you cause i don't have a refrigerator in my car" like, what the fuck are you talking about mom? guilt trips are her fort. and she says the only reason she's mad is because i wasted 4 hours of this guys life. but i've wasted two days of my life crying over a bullshit fight i got into with my mother over recording MY music. something that she should'nt even have anything to do with. i don't know. i'm sad. maybe i am being selfish, but i don't think so. the guy said it was okay, and why would i want to record something and waste 4 hours of everyones time and money to record a shitty ass c.d.? oh, god, okay, i'm done. puke
mtlqueen:
Being the grownup sucks when you're the offspring, but you and I both know that your mom is going through some pretty strange emotional states lately that demand you to be strong... stay focused on your mental health here. You have to literally set up a healthy perameter around yourself, and some stuff your mom pulls on you will violate that boundary and you're going to have to decide if you want to drain your emotional resources reacting to her irrational demands and erratic behaviour. I know your mom "means well", but if you're respectful toward her and demand the same in return, you will be able to manoeuver your way around your family life better. Sing... Write... Take photos... explore living in a new way that helps you to take advantage of your advantages (if you know what I mean, Vern....). Take your space at your mom's, and be strong to build a different relationship with her. You're not her little girl, and you haven't been for many years. Sorry to say, but the time for her hair advise is OVER>>> kiss ooo aaa bok bok
Jul 16, 2004
johnnystrange:
That sucks, I'm sorry to hear all of this. I know how personal your own music can be. When I record vocals I only let my brother be in the other room engineering it. Sometimes I have no choice, but most of the time I do. I guess that's one of the perks of having your own studio wink

The first time I tried to record vocals in an actual studio I was still a teenager. I wasted about 6 hours of studio time and we didn't keep one thing. Talk about embarassing! whatever Don't get discouraged though!!!!
Jul 18, 2004

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