andow

Well, I am in the process of studying for my literacy test, which is the last thing really standing of my way from getting myself an Associates degree. This is gunna be a huge milestone in my life, and will help me I believe in furthering my life.

I am also in the process of writing my first screenplay, and then intend to film and piece it together...hopefully I can find and team up with an editor or something, so that I can make it look good and be at least a little bit quality. But I really hope I can get these first movies made, I have promised myself that I cannot shave or cut my hair until I have successfully made 3 films and submitted at least one to a higher end film festival. This I hope will have someone see my ability and hire me for a bigger picture deal, or something like that.

I am also dealing with horrible lonliness...I cannot seem to shake it. I cant stand to watch other people in love and relationships, because it immediately pisses me off, and makes me incredibly sad. I know that I need to "put myself out there" as I have been told so many times before. I am looking for something real not just short or full of bullshit. I am at a point in my life where I really need a companion, not just a friend but someone to share my life with...

I have had a lot of stuff on my mind, and its been really tough. I have no idea why all these questions and thoughts have hit me all of a sudden, but it is really hard to deal with all the emotions that they bring up inside of me.

Oh well, hopefully if you read this you can give me some real advice, or even help me out on some of the things, who knows if you do read this thanks, means a lot to me that people actually give a shit about what I have to say...