Do you ever feel like... you're so full, in your heart and soul, that you may burst into a million pieces? All you can do is close your eyes and turn your face into the sun, and smile. You swear that you can see all of those shards of you, floating into the sky, and creating a universe thats so beautiful, it hurts.
In that split second, that fear that grips your every fiber, the doubt, the worry, the nightmares, are stripped away, and melt into oblivion. That mere blink of an eye lasts for eternity. You can feel his love wrap it's arms around you, in the safest cocoon of bliss. And you know when it's his arms wrapped around you, nothing else matters.
When he looks at you from across a crowded room, time ceases to exist. Everyone but the two of you disappears, and you can hear your heart beating faster in every vein in your body. You can barely breathe, and all you crave is for him to touch your very existence.
Your skin gets goosebumps at the mere thought of him brushing against you, his breathe on your neck as you sleep. Waking up with his body surrounding you, his heartbeat the only thing you hear, matching your own.
When you think of him, watch him get dressed, shave, brush his teeth, all you want to do is stare until time ends. You feel like you're floating, as if your a cloud on a soft breeze, whenever you catch him watching you, and you lose yourself in his eyes.
And you know in your heart of hearts that you'd give up your soul to save him a moments pain. That his shy smile, and all encompassing laughter, that sound that makes you want to just... be...
it gives your whole life meaning, and purpose.
You can't keep your hands off of him, because you're afraid it's all just a wonderful dream, and the moment you let go, he will disappear as if some sort of celestial mist, a phantom of your heart.
And when he's far far away, when you lay down at night, you fall asleep dreaming of that smell, HIS smell. You clutch your phone in your hand, and place it just under your ear, in case you get to hear that musical voice, even for just a moment. Everyday, you haunt the mailman, praying that a letter, or some trinket, any sign that he's thinking of you as much as you are of him, should blessedly arrive.
You walk down the street on a hot summers day, watching as the trees leaves glisten, hearing the sound of his voice on the wind. That envy, and joy, so horribly mixed together when you see other lovers wrapped up in each other, oblivious to the world, and your stare. How you miss him so much, your whole body aches so much your sure you'll die from it.
And that one, tiny, sliver of hope that you cling to, as if your life depended on it... "he'll be home soon".
The anger that courses through your veins whenever someone says "it's only...". How you imagine taking your phone that you're still carrying in a vice grip, and shoving it so far down their throats you'll be able to hear it ring whenever they pass gas. That incoherent mixture of feelings of rage, love, obligation, and terror that sweeps through your every cell whenever someone asks "How much longer?" or "how's he doing..."
When they full and well know that you have no idea. The only thing you know is that you are lost at sea and waves keep on coming, whether you're ready for them or not. All you can do is keep kicking, and gulping enough air to not drown.
The disappointment when you open your eyes, and realize you hadn't magically morphed into a bear. That you'd have to go through the motions of another day, reminding yourself that "at least you're a day closer". How you just want to scream and kick, and cry, until you have nothing left but the numbness.
And then, for no reason at all, you think of his smile, the way his eyes glitter when he looks at you, as if he sees straight to your soul. And then, you feel so full, in your heart and soul, you know you're going to burst into a million pieces....
Ever feel like that?
In that split second, that fear that grips your every fiber, the doubt, the worry, the nightmares, are stripped away, and melt into oblivion. That mere blink of an eye lasts for eternity. You can feel his love wrap it's arms around you, in the safest cocoon of bliss. And you know when it's his arms wrapped around you, nothing else matters.
When he looks at you from across a crowded room, time ceases to exist. Everyone but the two of you disappears, and you can hear your heart beating faster in every vein in your body. You can barely breathe, and all you crave is for him to touch your very existence.
Your skin gets goosebumps at the mere thought of him brushing against you, his breathe on your neck as you sleep. Waking up with his body surrounding you, his heartbeat the only thing you hear, matching your own.
When you think of him, watch him get dressed, shave, brush his teeth, all you want to do is stare until time ends. You feel like you're floating, as if your a cloud on a soft breeze, whenever you catch him watching you, and you lose yourself in his eyes.
And you know in your heart of hearts that you'd give up your soul to save him a moments pain. That his shy smile, and all encompassing laughter, that sound that makes you want to just... be...
it gives your whole life meaning, and purpose.
You can't keep your hands off of him, because you're afraid it's all just a wonderful dream, and the moment you let go, he will disappear as if some sort of celestial mist, a phantom of your heart.
And when he's far far away, when you lay down at night, you fall asleep dreaming of that smell, HIS smell. You clutch your phone in your hand, and place it just under your ear, in case you get to hear that musical voice, even for just a moment. Everyday, you haunt the mailman, praying that a letter, or some trinket, any sign that he's thinking of you as much as you are of him, should blessedly arrive.
You walk down the street on a hot summers day, watching as the trees leaves glisten, hearing the sound of his voice on the wind. That envy, and joy, so horribly mixed together when you see other lovers wrapped up in each other, oblivious to the world, and your stare. How you miss him so much, your whole body aches so much your sure you'll die from it.
And that one, tiny, sliver of hope that you cling to, as if your life depended on it... "he'll be home soon".
The anger that courses through your veins whenever someone says "it's only...". How you imagine taking your phone that you're still carrying in a vice grip, and shoving it so far down their throats you'll be able to hear it ring whenever they pass gas. That incoherent mixture of feelings of rage, love, obligation, and terror that sweeps through your every cell whenever someone asks "How much longer?" or "how's he doing..."
When they full and well know that you have no idea. The only thing you know is that you are lost at sea and waves keep on coming, whether you're ready for them or not. All you can do is keep kicking, and gulping enough air to not drown.
The disappointment when you open your eyes, and realize you hadn't magically morphed into a bear. That you'd have to go through the motions of another day, reminding yourself that "at least you're a day closer". How you just want to scream and kick, and cry, until you have nothing left but the numbness.
And then, for no reason at all, you think of his smile, the way his eyes glitter when he looks at you, as if he sees straight to your soul. And then, you feel so full, in your heart and soul, you know you're going to burst into a million pieces....
Ever feel like that?
No, I can't say I've ever really felt that way about someone, though I hope to someday, about a woman. More amazing would be to have someone feel that way about me, to inspire that kind of passion.
I'm not a very religious person, but may God protect your husband and return him safely to you.
Best wishes...