All roads lead to my son
at least that's the way it feels these days. it my birthday tomorrow and I don't feel a thing.
today I found myself thinking about all the men who have approached me on the street asking to take my picture.
I always said no. I guess I'm wondering if I regret it. I'm incredibly vain and love having my picture taken. these days its mostly my husband with the camera so the results are similar. back in college (when I took pictures) I could see myself interpreted by many people. I guess I wish I had all the potential photos that were taken but I don't know if I want all the experiences that would have gone along with that.
once I was developing pictures in a rent by the hour darkroom and another photog asked if he could take pics of me. this time I said yes. I went to apartment, he made me a meal. I didn't really know what to expect. I guess I always assumed there was some expectation of fooling around involved. and I was married and not interested in fooling around with random guys with cameras. what I think I understand now is that the sexual tension can make a picture good and doesn't need to be acted on. I mean I know better than that. I don't think people fool around during the sets shot for this site. maybe if I had modeled more I would've gotten more used to it. I'm a very black and white thinker. anyway so I'm at this guys house and we have talked about what he's going to do and he asks me to take my shirt off and I'm such a prude and so uncomfortable with the idea but I also know I'm being really uptight and wish I weren't so uptight. so I have a sheer shirt, that you could totally see through and I wore that.
they're not really sexy pictures and I think you can tell I'm uncomfortable but they don't look creepy. I guess now I wish I had been more laissez faire about the whole thing and said yes every time I was asked.
******edited to add*****
and here they are
thanks to afterbirth for having them already scanned and ready to go
but I guarantee if someone asked me again tomorrow I would go through that whole head trip of being uptight and wishing I wasn't.
ugh
did you really need to know all this?
at least that's the way it feels these days. it my birthday tomorrow and I don't feel a thing.
today I found myself thinking about all the men who have approached me on the street asking to take my picture.
I always said no. I guess I'm wondering if I regret it. I'm incredibly vain and love having my picture taken. these days its mostly my husband with the camera so the results are similar. back in college (when I took pictures) I could see myself interpreted by many people. I guess I wish I had all the potential photos that were taken but I don't know if I want all the experiences that would have gone along with that.
once I was developing pictures in a rent by the hour darkroom and another photog asked if he could take pics of me. this time I said yes. I went to apartment, he made me a meal. I didn't really know what to expect. I guess I always assumed there was some expectation of fooling around involved. and I was married and not interested in fooling around with random guys with cameras. what I think I understand now is that the sexual tension can make a picture good and doesn't need to be acted on. I mean I know better than that. I don't think people fool around during the sets shot for this site. maybe if I had modeled more I would've gotten more used to it. I'm a very black and white thinker. anyway so I'm at this guys house and we have talked about what he's going to do and he asks me to take my shirt off and I'm such a prude and so uncomfortable with the idea but I also know I'm being really uptight and wish I weren't so uptight. so I have a sheer shirt, that you could totally see through and I wore that.
they're not really sexy pictures and I think you can tell I'm uncomfortable but they don't look creepy. I guess now I wish I had been more laissez faire about the whole thing and said yes every time I was asked.
******edited to add*****
and here they are
thanks to afterbirth for having them already scanned and ready to go
but I guarantee if someone asked me again tomorrow I would go through that whole head trip of being uptight and wishing I wasn't.
ugh
did you really need to know all this?
VIEW 25 of 38 COMMENTS
I never saw it as an intimacy thing before I read this. I always though that I may see somthting ugly in the photos and it would blow any self image I had..I dunno why it happened but now I am curious....