Blarg!
I seriously have no fucking clue what I am doing anymore and that sucks!! A few days go it was smooth sailing and now im all fucked up.
School will be a go if I can keep the the price low enough that my parents can help out with it untill I get this whole goverment thing sorted out, and accoding to somone I talked to at the ministry *and im not sure if htey are fucking me over or not as my parents are in the same boat and the goverment is after them for 104K that they don't owe at all because there was no actual reason to claim these monies it was just the goverment doing there taxes for them and incorectly at that* and they calim that as of 2004 you can't claim that you didn't owe money previous to 2004 due to a new goverment initiative to collect all this money they think people owe them. SO even if I prove that I didn't owe this money they still want me to pay 2K of the 4K cause I can't claim and prove that I didn't owe this money cause they won't let me now... I am soooo pissed over this. I am waiting to see how my parents cliam goes and if it's all sorted out then im getting my dad to do mine, if not then were getting lawyers.
So thats the school buisness, now onto the sickness front.. I don't seem to be getting any better in fact I seem to be getting worse each day and that means I may have more cancner and that means I may need to go back to the hospital. If they can clear it up im happy if not well just good to know that too. I just want to get healthy again and start getting out more. I went to that SGBC meet and greet and that was the first time I have been out of the house either sans Lindsey or not like just to a movies or dinner with her in about 2 months and before that going on 4 months. It's a mix of being afraid to go out and a mix of the fatiuge making me feel like I don't want to go out. Even if I am really really excited earlier in the day to go out, by the time it comes to actually go out... it's hard to make myself or i jsut give up and don't. I basicaly need ppl to drag me out or I won't go. I just want to get better and get my life back as thats what this whole thing has taken from me, my life.
On the Muse front, still looking. I want to get writing agian so bad. I have 2 scripts and one story in my head that I want to get out so bad and just can't seem to get them onto paper and I think it's because im lacking a strong woman to base my 3 main characters on. And yes as somone pointed out, the Muse thing just looks like a lame attempt to see naked women or get laid... but I have Linds for that and SG for the naked girls
The Muse is more than that, they are inspiration and somone who helps release the creative flow from the individual in question by caring, using there charms and err other methods yes In exchange tha artist creats for them to delight them. Ugh hard to explain unless you have experinced it before like I have, unfortunate she had to move for school and decided to stay there because she loved it so much.
Other than all that im just burnt out right now and need to get energized again. I am trying to decide if I should go to Sin City or not this Sat, Lindsey isn't going so it would be just me unless I can find somone to go with. I know if it's just me I will probably chiken out *Sooo unlike me and I hate it, for fuck sakes im a Leo, where did my Ego and my care free attitude go, I used to go every where by myself never afraid and now look at me cowerig at home like a cat thats lost his edge* but if I can find somone to go with then I may just go. I need some new friends to drag my ass out as the old ones, they just arent around anymore and never will be.
-Ryan
I seriously have no fucking clue what I am doing anymore and that sucks!! A few days go it was smooth sailing and now im all fucked up.
School will be a go if I can keep the the price low enough that my parents can help out with it untill I get this whole goverment thing sorted out, and accoding to somone I talked to at the ministry *and im not sure if htey are fucking me over or not as my parents are in the same boat and the goverment is after them for 104K that they don't owe at all because there was no actual reason to claim these monies it was just the goverment doing there taxes for them and incorectly at that* and they calim that as of 2004 you can't claim that you didn't owe money previous to 2004 due to a new goverment initiative to collect all this money they think people owe them. SO even if I prove that I didn't owe this money they still want me to pay 2K of the 4K cause I can't claim and prove that I didn't owe this money cause they won't let me now... I am soooo pissed over this. I am waiting to see how my parents cliam goes and if it's all sorted out then im getting my dad to do mine, if not then were getting lawyers.
So thats the school buisness, now onto the sickness front.. I don't seem to be getting any better in fact I seem to be getting worse each day and that means I may have more cancner and that means I may need to go back to the hospital. If they can clear it up im happy if not well just good to know that too. I just want to get healthy again and start getting out more. I went to that SGBC meet and greet and that was the first time I have been out of the house either sans Lindsey or not like just to a movies or dinner with her in about 2 months and before that going on 4 months. It's a mix of being afraid to go out and a mix of the fatiuge making me feel like I don't want to go out. Even if I am really really excited earlier in the day to go out, by the time it comes to actually go out... it's hard to make myself or i jsut give up and don't. I basicaly need ppl to drag me out or I won't go. I just want to get better and get my life back as thats what this whole thing has taken from me, my life.
On the Muse front, still looking. I want to get writing agian so bad. I have 2 scripts and one story in my head that I want to get out so bad and just can't seem to get them onto paper and I think it's because im lacking a strong woman to base my 3 main characters on. And yes as somone pointed out, the Muse thing just looks like a lame attempt to see naked women or get laid... but I have Linds for that and SG for the naked girls
The Muse is more than that, they are inspiration and somone who helps release the creative flow from the individual in question by caring, using there charms and err other methods yes In exchange tha artist creats for them to delight them. Ugh hard to explain unless you have experinced it before like I have, unfortunate she had to move for school and decided to stay there because she loved it so much.
Other than all that im just burnt out right now and need to get energized again. I am trying to decide if I should go to Sin City or not this Sat, Lindsey isn't going so it would be just me unless I can find somone to go with. I know if it's just me I will probably chiken out *Sooo unlike me and I hate it, for fuck sakes im a Leo, where did my Ego and my care free attitude go, I used to go every where by myself never afraid and now look at me cowerig at home like a cat thats lost his edge* but if I can find somone to go with then I may just go. I need some new friends to drag my ass out as the old ones, they just arent around anymore and never will be.
-Ryan
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angelvanilla:
BodyWorlds EVENT
angelvanilla:
BodyWorld @ Science World - Saturday Oct.21 @ 6pm please post in thread, if you are attending!!!