analith

Luc and I, sitting in bed smashed last night. Very strange conversation, about how I hope I die very painfully, because without pain - how do you know that you're alive?

The conversation continues: how many people do you think ever experiance true, extreem pleasure. Think of it this way - there is the difference between the pain of being pinched, and the pain of being stabbed in the eye with a blunt fork. Being pinched is just a little bit of pain, but being stabbed in the eye with a blunt fork - now that's at the extreem end of the pain scale (or, so I imagine, having never actually had a blunt fork stabbed into my eye). There's the same kind of pleasure scale, like the difference between scratching a little itch and having a weekend of non-stop mindblowing multiple orgasms (though, some would say that by the end of that weekend we might be stepping into the pain catagory?)

The whole thing has given me a new appreciation for pain - not just physical but emotional. That dull ache that lives in the back of your chest, when you feel like your heart is breaking, the occasional stab of guilt or regret. The whole thing - it makes you realise that you're alive and... gives you appreciation that you actually can feel.