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buffalo, ny

Member Since 2005

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Tuesday Nov 30, 2010

Nov 30, 2010
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WARNING: VENTING BLOG POST

I am so extremely uncontent that I cannot focus on anything. Not work, not coaching. But yet I am so busy with both it leaves little time for anything else.

I don't hate my job but I am just sick of it. I just need a break. I need time to get myself together.

Mentally and physically.

Ever since i had surgery on my knee it has been fucked. I just want to cry. I play coed soccer on the weekends but it hurts my knee and then my knee is aggravated all week while i am coaching. I have to get to a physical therapist to see what i can do. I feel like i need to strengthen it but i dont want to hurt it worse. But who has money for that! and i dont have time to work out since i am so busy.

all i have the energy for after all my responsibility are done for the day at about 9pm is to drink.

i told my self i need to slow down on drinking so much, but if i dont drink then i am left alone with my thoughts and just get depressed at how unsatisfying life is.

I am so bored of routine!

i wish i at least had better friends, I have some cool ones but no one im real close to.

I really would like a girlfriend. At least that would give me something to look forward to after a long day of work and give me a partner to do stuff with.

also my town is soooooo lame. I miss making music with friends and doing shows, and going to shows, and going to different parties and events like i use to in Illinois. And i miss interesting people. everyone here is so boring and normal.

fuck man, i need to relocate again.

I need constant change and a new knee damnit.

caia:
In some ways I'm still living the same as you, although with 29 yrs old I've experienced enough to know thar it is only in you that lies the wind of change. Sometimes making hard decisions on our lives if fucking difficult... I had to make tough choices... I needed and sometimes still need the psicologist to vent let's say...
I can be a friend... absent though as obviously I'm too far smile but you can talk I know how important it's to feels supported. kiss
All the best!
Nov 30, 2010
shandyowl:
Leonardo da Vinci never concentraated on one thing for long and he did okay.

Maybe you are right about needing a change of scene; there must be somewhere thst would have more going on for you.

You know I'm going to mention PDX don't you?
Nov 30, 2010

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