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anais

Charlotte

SG Since 2002

Followers 1790 Following 550

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Sunday Oct 12, 2003

Oct 11, 2003
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Deja-vu evening,
Having issues I dealt with all growing up come back and slap me in the face has left me in a whirlwind of emotions this evening. Am I doomed to follow this path? How am I supposed to deal with a genetic depression if the example left for me is to od on a random arrangement of pills and what not in order to escape feelings of hurt, self denial and a lifetime patternh of irrationality and low esteem. How can I help another if I don't know how to help myself, or how can another help me if they can't help themselves? Why is it so much easier to lose oneself and go overboard, walking away from problems only to be put in a spot where they ahve to be dealt with. Are they ever going to be dealt with? At this point I doubt it. At this point I think life is full of deja-vu and it is up to me to let it bring me down or gain strength and break the pattern. ARG...for now I need to feel angry , hurt, confused, and worried.
*Anais
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
othello:
It's always so much easier to give up, or else they wouldn't call getting over it "the fight". I go down your same path all the time, but I can't tell you what will work for you, as I don't think all depressed people have the same path out.
Oct 13, 2003
all0nblack:
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." -Anais Nin
Oct 13, 2003

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