Allo,
I am tiring of these ups and downs. My mind needs to stop playing ring around the rosey or I am going to vomit.
I finally got my appetite back. After finding out how much weight I've lost and feeling sick and crazy for a month it's about damn time I can enjoy yummy food again. I am off the wellbutrin. Turns out I can't take any antidepressant because they make my family more depressed and some of them create suicidal dillusions. Damn genetic clinical depression blah blah bullshit. Now it's back to dealing with it on my own, forever. Things could be worse, I'm may be nuts but I am lucky in life in so many ways.
note to me at 6:30am:Begin writing again. Future project (Mei, you'll appreciate this) write a book/photo project on my experiences and practices with lucid dreaming.
*Anais
I am tiring of these ups and downs. My mind needs to stop playing ring around the rosey or I am going to vomit.
I finally got my appetite back. After finding out how much weight I've lost and feeling sick and crazy for a month it's about damn time I can enjoy yummy food again. I am off the wellbutrin. Turns out I can't take any antidepressant because they make my family more depressed and some of them create suicidal dillusions. Damn genetic clinical depression blah blah bullshit. Now it's back to dealing with it on my own, forever. Things could be worse, I'm may be nuts but I am lucky in life in so many ways.
note to me at 6:30am:Begin writing again. Future project (Mei, you'll appreciate this) write a book/photo project on my experiences and practices with lucid dreaming.
*Anais
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when i was really sad, i went through a number of therapists and psychiatrists - and then i found an honest-to-god psychopharmacologist. someone who doesn't do any therapy or anything - just deals with the medical side of it. it might be worth finding someone like that, to see if there are any drugs you can take that don't mess with you like traditional antidepressants. anyway. someone who really and truly knows her stuff on the med front might be able to help. i know of someone in the bay area to recommend, but nobody up here, unfortunately.
the other thing that helped me was finding fun happy exercise. yoga for me, something else for other people, i'm sure. but i'm an endorphin junkie, and it made me feel better.
sorry for all the advice - i'm sure you get more than enough of it..
hey - sometime soon i want you to take my next set, if you'd like to. i'll email you about it when i'm feeling less body selfconscious.