I just don't understand E.'s parents... They're still mad at us for... i'm not sure really. His dad is an acountent... normaly does his taxs. Aparently this year he was planning on holding his refound hostige till we did something he wanted... E. out smarted him and went to H&Rblock. The good news is we're getting back enough to pay for our much smaller wedding. The bad news is everything with his parents are just getting worse.

The house I've been cleaning up is owned under an LLC under E's and his mom's name. We've always done everything for it from paying the taxes to getting dirty while getting it ready for sale. His father is putting alot of presure on his mom to NOT hand over permision for us to sell it. which means long story short my 6 weeks out here may be for nothing. NOTHING.


To make matters a little worse i'm ready to strangel Andrew. Took me 20 min of bickering to get him to wash two danm windows. The longer this goes the less work he does... and he does most of it half assly. I just want to tell him to get the hell out of my hair sometimes... Tonight we got on to a topic and some how it ended in him explaining to me that i'm pushy and impatient. I said thats just how i am. I rather be pushy and upfront about things then manipulative. I told him that manipulation wasn't one of the things i handeld well after my childhood. He said something about how his family was nice and normal... He asked what that made him... I said Lucky but i meant Niave. I was almost in tears when josh came in. then about 15 min later I found out the newest tricks up E's parents sleaves.


To round out the evening Josh came over. I cuddeld in to his shoulder for half the night and he chose to sleep over on the couch. He said he was going to get up to get a drink then go to bed. I asked if he would grab me something else... He told me "why don't you get off your fat ass and get one for yourself". I know he was jokeing He said he was jokeing... I almost burst in to tears on the spot... I know i got that glaszed over haze when i looked back at him. I got up and poured us both something then said goodnight.


The worse thing is I have to get up tomarrow morning and pertend like nothing has changed. I'm still cleaning the house for sale. Andrew didnt' call me pushy and Josh didn't call me fat... And i have to pretend like E's parents don't hate me. I have to trick myself in to thinking they are pulling this shit for some reason other then my marraige to thier son.


Tonight is one of those nights where i just wish i could be some one else. have someone elses problems for a change. I just want a friend that will wipe away my tears and give me a hug. a real hug. rub my hair and tell me its going to be ok.


Someone make me believe this will all end up ok cause right now... I'm really wondering what the hell the point is.