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amymay

upstate NY

Member Since 2006

Followers 110 Following 93

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Friday Mar 23, 2007

Mar 22, 2007
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lots to blog about but at the moment my mind is a haze. It was a good day then an unplesent conversation...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

why does everyone insist that my marrage is a bad idea. It pisses me off but more then that it hurts. It hurts that people that wouldn't even consider a girl like me. (broken bruised and ugly) asume to understand where i'm comeing from. Did you know the reason i'm blind in one eye... ? NO Do you know why i almost didn't graduate highschool? Do you know why i rolled change when i was a kid? Or why i hated rideing bikes when i was young? beter question.. did you ever ask? Did you ever ask about my life befor you thought to judge my choices? Agreed i've had my doubts and still do.. but.. it just makes things worse when everyone agrees. He's a great man. I"m lucky.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PERFECTION!

I need someone in my life to hold me when i cry and feed me when i get bitchy because i've forgoten to eat. I need someone to come home to that i love. He's it for me.
Are you willing to be it for me? no i didn't think so.

i'm not the type of girl that gets charming supportive intellegent men to fall in love with her. Most people don't find me interesting or beautiful or worth respect.
The guys I attract are wife beaters and cheaters. Drug addicts or assholes.
I"M LUCKY i found him. So what the hell is wrong with me wanting to marry him?
What is wrong with me trying to hold on to the only security i have ever known?
Do i not deserve a man like him... i probably dont...
Will i find someone that completes me better... no i don't think so and if i did it wouldn't be till most of my life had passed by.
Will i be happy when i'm 70 talking to him. will we still be able to laugh... yes.
do you know how HUGE that is for me to say? No you don't... because you never asked.

pikahyper:
there is nothing wrong with you and of course you deserve happyness and you are beautiful smile

I won't ever judge you amy smile **big hug** kiss
Mar 22, 2007

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