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amymay

upstate NY

Member Since 2006

Followers 110 Following 93

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Monday Jan 01, 2007

Jan 1, 2007
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I NEED A VOTE BY THE TIME I WAKE UP!

Do i go back with my friends to NY to see my family for a few days and check on things there or do i stay
it will only caust about 250 round trip!
Do i stay or do i go.


OK NEW DAYS ARE GOOD! I've done very little today. I slept in till 3:30pm hopeing to avoid a hangover... I avoided the headache and nauscia but not the heady dizzy fussy feeling. The boys have been playing warhammer all day and seriously dorking out. I started cooking when i got up and the meal wasn't done till about a half hour ago. (Love brisket but it takes forever to get done and yummy). I've litterly done NOTHING else today. Ive sat here on this couch and watched documentaries on the history channel on alcohol. I haven't even showered (but i don't stink) I think i just had to much to fast and then got annoyed by my friend (he started speaking in pig laten for no reason loudly and fast and wouldn't stop)I did the responcable thing and walked away and stopped when i noticed a difference in myself. I have to remember that that is the improtant part. The part that my dad never did and the part that seperates us always. Its all about the choice. and i still have the ability to make choices.

speaking of choices.. people really jumped on the idea of looking in to wether or not E. and i should be together.
Its something i do everyday. I ask myself would my life be better or worse with out him in it. So far i've always desided it would be worse. When that answer changes i'll leave. I also ask myself if its me or him that i'm not happy with. Most days i don't know and some days i think its me. untill i can be sure of that answer i can't leave him.

I don't know that he is second best... I don't know if there is better. or if i would want better
Here is a question for those that are or have been in love... How the hell do you know? was it strong and unwhilding or was it a steady warmth?
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
panthro:
fucking goooooooo! go home, see your mom and family and friends. you have been talking about how couped up you feel and have nobody to do things with. here is your getaway. maybe it will snow when you get here!
Jan 2, 2007
remuemenage:
thanks for your support. I wish I could offer you words of wisdom about your relationshjp - but I think you have to come to these decisions yourself. trust your heart.

I think a trip to New York to be with your family would do you good - so I vote for that

be well - you sweetlovely
Jan 2, 2007

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