amymay

Here's something no one knows about me. ... (Yes it does have to do with my sexuality if you don't like it move on)


There are only three ways i can fall asleep.

One is if i am exhausted. So tierd I stumble to the bedroom and even then it takes some time, but im to tierd to think so its ok.

The second is if i masterbate. I lay snuggeld in my blankets in thier warmth on my stomache and i put together a story in my head. Of who and what and why. Who i'm with how we met Why they want me. Every detail down to what i'm wearing and why i'm not with E. (I never think of him) Every detail has to make sence. I never think of movie starts cause im not the type of girl to meet one. I never think of singers or people that are dead. I fall in to these stories and they can take moments to materialize or hours. Some times its people i know sometims its not. If i know the person i have to match thier personalities in my head If i don't kow them I have to make up personality that will fit. They're not always pleasent stories. Some times i'm rejected even in my thoughts. I lay there thinking on my stomache with my hands trapped between my legs. When the story gets to that certain point I collect my wetness and I rub my clit. My right pointer finger finds the left side of my clit and rubs in a tinny circle, not moveing around the clit but messageing in to it. Some times but not offten i roll my clit between my thumb and index finger. I breath in to my pillow being careful to not make a sound and spread my legs as far apart as I can with out kicking E. When i'm close i pull my legs together and cross them at the ankles. When i cum its never hard but its relaxing. Every muscle in my body contracts and all of the tention is released. I pull my arms up to my stomache and normally fall asleep with in min. This isn't the only way or time but it is the most common. and the only way i'll fall asleep. Sex doesn't do it and useing a toy is to much after thought to make it usefull.

The thierd and most common way i fall asleep. I lay there for hours thinking about my life... It starts with the day and then the day before that and then the month and the year... Soon i find myself crying for one reason or another. Again i curl in to my blanket and again i lay on my stomache but this time i lay there crying untill i fall asleep.


This is why i stay up untill all hours of the night. I try to avoid the last method so i stay up till i'm exhusted. The problem with this is that i don't get up at a certain time so i wake later and later.. which means i have to stay up later and later. Its a vistious cycle.

Now this isn't bad and it isn't good.. Its just something to write about.. something i've never told anyone before so i thouht i should share.