E ended up taking me to that Irish place after all. The kitchen was mostly closed but the let us get apatizers. It was yummy. We had Hard irish cider. That stuff is kick ass I loved it. Had a bit to much but oops. came home and chatted while E went back to WoW. Watched Dukes of Hazard the movie.. I know she's dumb but g~ddanm if jessica simpson isn't hot in a pink bikini. THen E went to bed and my friend signed offline and i just felt sooo alone. It was a good night too till then. I laid with Manna for a bit and she ate my hair and licked my tears... I think he may need more salt in his diet. Finally caulmed down when the next two things happend.. all in all a very upp and doooowwwn day. But aren't they all
AGAIN with my sexuallity... fair warning..
So in a thread asking about weirdest fantisy i posted then was responded to then posted again
SPOILERS! (Click to view)Amymay said:
Messed up... ok mines a bit dark and if it ever happend i'm sure i'ed be scared for life but in my head...
I want to be raped by mulitpul people. I perfer it started with one man overpowering me Im a big girl and it's not that easy to take me down. So I"ed like to be taken and humiliated and... well "broken" not physically but emotionally. I want to be bond and tied I want to be choked and i want to have to ask to cum. I want to be told i'm a little girl or a dirty whore. I'ed want to be forced to please a man analy and look at his cum. I'ed love to try double penatration with people that didn't care and didn't stop if it hurt. Idealy the episode would end with a new victom lapping cum off/out of me... Wow now that i write it i think its a bit worse then it was in my head. Its just.. Im so used to controling a situation i would never give it up.. I'ed love just once to have it (controle) ripped away from me.
WOW dude are u reading my mind....i thought it wa ssooo horrible to think or want that...to be raped....why is that such a turn on for me...or us...??
I say its cause of controle and dominance and likeing really ruff sex.. really i think if a shrink ever talked to me he would say it stemed from a bad childhood.. but i perfer to think its all cause our se drive isn't ruled by the normal standerds which is something i'm proud of.
But really the question made me think. Why do i like it so rough and why do i want some one to treat me like a slut and just use me for sex... and why do i get so mad when i feel like men only uses me as a reseptical then leaves to go on with thier life. I think it has something to do with my father and my mother and my sister. ... I'm sooo screwed up.
Edit: I just read a friend from college's blog on my space. She's moveing to NYC. . . When we were freshman we used to talk about moveing there together being artist and rocking the art community. She's a writter now.. well editor but at least she is makeing it to the city. I kinda feel like my heart is breaking. right now. Like all my dreams just blew up in my face... Of course they did that a long time ago but its times like this that you see how far away they always were. I don't even want to pain any more.
amy your rape fantasy isn't dark to me, i have the same fantasies, i have always had fantasies of men raping me, i don't really understand it, but it is definitely a turn on for me.
wow, yeah i just ended up not talking to my crush and left feeling stupid, oh well i need to grow up. oooooooh you've already read about my accent boy crush....LOL. im definitely with you there.