amymay

so... just a side note.. everyone that says someting nice about me comments on my eyes... i hate them there are so many bad memories attached to them I just wish people saw more then just my bad memories. But of course no one understands this and why would they its not like i tell anyone... Bah

so for those that don't know. i'm blind in one eye the brown one because my father kicked my mother down the stairs while i was still in the womb. He didn't want me he never did. When i was born i had a congenetal cateract. I was 18months old when they removed it. My parents weren't told that i was the youngest person the proccedure had been performed on... Well they mess up, scaring the pupil upwards it no longer dialates. So i can't see out of it. I have no deapth perseption at all and alot of the time i don't see people on my right. The fear its created in my life is .. bizar for the most part. its one of the many reasons i don't drive and i trap myself here. I know i need to get over it but .. its hard. On the other hand the way i see things makes me the artist i am today. Much like the rest of my life its a sticky confusing thing that i don't understand complely

So when people say look at her eyes what more is there to say its like saying look at her past look at the father that didn't want her and look athe fear she can't run from .. look at the broken girl..


Ok one more edit to this post... (second one) Don't I leave writting this to walk in to a conversation about if men are wired )DNA) to protect women. I the only one out of four fighting for nurture not nature. Once we agreed to disagree i told them my father beat the crap out of what to say.. their emediate reaction wat to try to comfort me... Like they understood.. The all came from well to do middle class LOVEING families.. .. BAh .. bad night bad night i'm off to find something to entertain my tierd mind.