amymay

Some times i just don't understand myself. I love E so much But i push him away and some times he just annoys the crap out of me because he's there and constently looking over my shoulder... Whats wrong with me... We watched this movie (American Dreamz) and at the begining the lead breaks up with a girl by saying your absolutley wonderful to me and i fucking hate it! You make me want to be a better person then I am But i'm not the beter person. Thats how i feel some times. He's just to danm good to me. Or i'm just not good enough for him. I seriously need to work on getting my act togeter. But on that note I'm going to try very hard to start going to bed early..

The crush- the one ranted about earlier last week- came back for one more "IM" call last night. I made him want me then made him hard then told him It was my bed time and left. He ignored me for a week and then told me the latest pics i sent were less then appealing. I normally don't play with people but he hit a sore spot. Today we were chatting as friends and he sent me an im meant for some one else... Sayiing hi baby.

Why do i do stupid things to my self? Why do we all do stupid things to ourself?

On an up note i'm starting to get angry and when i get angry i stop feeling sorry for myself and things get done. I should be back to my lovely self in less then a few days..