So i woke up this morning with no ambition at all and really didn't feel like going to temple tonight. Oh for all you who may care or not... I'm in the process of trying to convert to judiasm. Why you may ask.. cause E. is and its important to us to raise our kids under one faith. And the only way our kids will be jewish is if they are born to a jewish mother(or convert at 13). Also we can't get married by the same guy if im not jewish by the wedding. I believe in alot of the culture and the tradtions. And the people are wonderful.. do i believe in g~d?... i haven't figured that one out yet. Me and faith have some trust issues and i think over time i'll know whats best for me but for now this should work. I'm not trying to convert anyone! Its actually a giant pain in the butt i wouldn't suggest. But anyhow on with the story.
So E told me to pretend like i wanted to go which was his way of saying go for me... I'm glad i did. One of the reasons i know i'm on the right road with this whole thing is the feeling i get when i hear the melodies and chanting. Tonight was no different and i needed to feel the peace that tends to over take me. The message of Shabaite (i know i didn't spell that right) is to set the work week aside and take a min to breath and pray and be with family and loved ones. Now i dont have a work week and i don't really have friends or family up here. But It still allows me a min. to forget about the stupid issues of day to day life and consentrate on the consept of a higher purpose. Something about the whole things leaves me feeling clean and whole again. Of course after the service they had a speaker that tried to talk about mystasism (Kabahla) Somehting your not supposed to delve in to untilll your 40, married, and have kids cause its so out there its hard to comprehend and most people can go a little crazy from it. The whole talk made me realize just how much more i have to learn before i'll be able to truely understand the people i so love. In a way i'm starting from scratch. E. and i joked about the guy the whole two hour ride home He said most people didn't understand what he had said so i sholdn't be disapointed in myself. When we got home I got him off and he went to bed. Now i'm up listening to the rain on the windows and roof and thinking about how truely vast the world is. I feel a little less broken tonight. which is a nice change.
I mean how can you not respect a religioun that considers fucking on a friday a double mitvah.
So E told me to pretend like i wanted to go which was his way of saying go for me... I'm glad i did. One of the reasons i know i'm on the right road with this whole thing is the feeling i get when i hear the melodies and chanting. Tonight was no different and i needed to feel the peace that tends to over take me. The message of Shabaite (i know i didn't spell that right) is to set the work week aside and take a min to breath and pray and be with family and loved ones. Now i dont have a work week and i don't really have friends or family up here. But It still allows me a min. to forget about the stupid issues of day to day life and consentrate on the consept of a higher purpose. Something about the whole things leaves me feeling clean and whole again. Of course after the service they had a speaker that tried to talk about mystasism (Kabahla) Somehting your not supposed to delve in to untilll your 40, married, and have kids cause its so out there its hard to comprehend and most people can go a little crazy from it. The whole talk made me realize just how much more i have to learn before i'll be able to truely understand the people i so love. In a way i'm starting from scratch. E. and i joked about the guy the whole two hour ride home He said most people didn't understand what he had said so i sholdn't be disapointed in myself. When we got home I got him off and he went to bed. Now i'm up listening to the rain on the windows and roof and thinking about how truely vast the world is. I feel a little less broken tonight. which is a nice change.
I mean how can you not respect a religioun that considers fucking on a friday a double mitvah.