amymay

I'm soo pathetic. I find my self crushing on a guy in AUSTRAILLA. We met online (of course) and at first it was just alot of fun to flurt and have fun and talk about things your just not supposed to talk about in polite society. He's a bastard and has an accsent exactly my type. Its never been emotional hell its never been sexual it was just alot of fun to be crushed on.. But now he's over me and i don't know why and i feel like that stupid highschooler again. of course it wasn't him i really liked it was the attention and the fact that he treated me like dirt.. (why is that a turn on?) Any how it was a nice break from reality for a bit but now i need to go crashing down to earth again. HOwever this little thing is made worse because my sleep scheduale is tottaly messed up.. I mean its 4:30 and i'm wide awake. Now i have to try to fix this.. So a question- Does anyone else find them selves crushing on other people while they are in love with some one else or am i a horrable person?

My head is so confused right now and i find my self grasping for answers where there are none... I hope this time will pass quickly.

All i want to do is take a hot bath and "releave" myself then go to bed. But thats not going to happen cause its 4am and we don't have a real bathtub. I really need to learn more ways of relaxing then just getting... oh never mind.

On a plus not E. and I will be spending some time together tomarrow away from the house driveing down to Santa Rosa. Maybe some fresh air and together ness will get my head where it needs to be .. back on the wedding.. Oh and she has a face.. so YAY