amstar

Driving between his parents place and mine last night, I cracked the sads at the weather for being so fucking clear and bright and starry when I was dying inside because he was leaving me again. By the time I headed back to his house the rain had started and didn't stop til just after his plane left at midday today. Grim satisfaction that if I had to feel shit, everyone else would too.

So my boy headed back to Chicago. The last 2 months or so have revolved around trips up and down to Sydney to visit him, and his holiday here. Now he's gone, and the stone of dread in my belly tells me I'm not going to see him again. We have all these plans - he's finding us an apartment in Chicago, I'll move over in the next few months, we'll move to London when he finishes school next year, then back to Australia in a few years... Lots of holiday plans and house plans and future life together plans... But I can't shake the feeling that it'll be all over before any of that happens.

Meh... think I'm just emotional b/c I have no set date to see him next

I'm hanging out for his plane to land in Chicago so I can speak to him.... only 9.5 hours and major Paul withdrawal already!! ARGH!

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Oh! I got home from the airport today... there was a note on my bed from my spunky little sister saying "Hey Gorgeous! Don't be sad he's gone coz pretty soon you're gonna be gone with him and leaving me all alone! Have a fabulous day beautiful, hugs and kisses, Love J - xoxox" Just what I needed, sisters are so good.