ampersandwich

I think today is gonna suck & yet also be pretty cool/liberating...

I'm walking into a tiger cage, and I dont really wanna play with the tiger..

Short version: I was "invited" to join my family business last week, tho invited doesnt usually levy guilt, disappointment, and frustration with a nice sized dash of desperate controlling influence. My family is wonderful in some ways, and the eppitome of evil & controlling in others. So, today I get to go in & say "no thanks", and feel the reprocussions of 30+ years of built up hopes ending with this "no thanks". Sorta alot for a Monday, right?

No matter what age we are, I dont think (for the most part) we as children look forward to dissapointing our parents. Or flipping that comment for a second, I think we still enjoy / crave / seek their approval. I know this is not the case for every person, esp. after Ive read some journals here.

I think overall it's just gonna be a good day for my mind, but a hard day on my heart.


Y~!