So I am not going to be active on SG very much anymore. Same goes with myspace (which I'll probably delete).
Too much of my life has been dictated by the internet. and it's such a facade. I called so many people last night to see what they were doing, because I was having a really rough night with some important news. Out of everyone that I called or texted, the only person that ended up making it out was someone I have only known a couple months, if that. It meant alot to me for him to show up, but it made me realize that I have lost some of the most amazing people in my life because I am selfish.
The people that have always been there through everything, good and bad, are the people that I have let down the most.
I spent last night fighting like I haven't fought in a long long time. And i didn't even yell that much. Used the f word alot, which is really no surprise. But it felt good to even let things out a little. I am just so bottled up, so passive. I tend to walk away and just let things go instead of getting emotional about them. And sometimes there are things that are worth fighting for. I went to sleep happy, and for once in a week, and I slept straight through the night.
I just need some time to get back up on my feet, to spend quality time with the people that want to put the effort into me as well, to work on my horrible, horrible self image (which has only been made worse by staring at beautiful women on this site, or on myspace everyday), to brighten my current outlook on life.
I love you guys, if you are a friend you know how to (or can find out how to) get a hold of me. I'll be around.
Too much of my life has been dictated by the internet. and it's such a facade. I called so many people last night to see what they were doing, because I was having a really rough night with some important news. Out of everyone that I called or texted, the only person that ended up making it out was someone I have only known a couple months, if that. It meant alot to me for him to show up, but it made me realize that I have lost some of the most amazing people in my life because I am selfish.
The people that have always been there through everything, good and bad, are the people that I have let down the most.
I spent last night fighting like I haven't fought in a long long time. And i didn't even yell that much. Used the f word alot, which is really no surprise. But it felt good to even let things out a little. I am just so bottled up, so passive. I tend to walk away and just let things go instead of getting emotional about them. And sometimes there are things that are worth fighting for. I went to sleep happy, and for once in a week, and I slept straight through the night.
I just need some time to get back up on my feet, to spend quality time with the people that want to put the effort into me as well, to work on my horrible, horrible self image (which has only been made worse by staring at beautiful women on this site, or on myspace everyday), to brighten my current outlook on life.
I love you guys, if you are a friend you know how to (or can find out how to) get a hold of me. I'll be around.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
coliwali:
While there is some tiny chance Ill bump into you thru Kristen. In case I dont, it was nice meeting you those couple times. You seem like a real standup gal. 
But still, its only a website and it sounds like youve got other things you need to focus on.
But still, its only a website and it sounds like youve got other things you need to focus on. 
calmer_than_you:
i don't get returns on my msgs =/