amory

I hope that everyone is well.

I am so so... I think this seems to be the story of my life. Today my eyes are heavy and the computer screen is blurry as I type. Work is well in certain aspects... I feel like I am very on top of things. I'm keeping up with my responsibilties with extra time to take on more. The people here are fun and we goof around all day, even though recently the humor has started to become depricating to say the least. Very below the belt humor. I am not sure how much of it I can handle. Sometimes I think that I am a very strong person, but other times I think that I have become so weakened by... life.

I have had trouble sleeping and it's starting to become a problem. I don't even look like myself anymore. My eyes feel heavier and heavier every day. I toss and turn all night and have horrible dreams that I can't even remember. I wake up in a sweat, scared to close my eyes, scared to fall back asleep....

I know all of the problems I have run away from in of my life are buried deep inside of me, put in the back of my head to hopefully disappear with out a trace. I guess no matter how hard you try to bury somethings, they will always come out.

to steal a couple lines from eponine

All my life I've only been pretending. The world is full of happiness that I have never known.