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amory

Tucson, AZ

Member Since 2003

Followers 143 Following 63

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Friday Sep 24, 2004

Sep 24, 2004
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So heres a quick update about things and just what I've had on my mind recently.

This summer i completely fell in love unexpectedly. And not just a little childish crush, I tripped and fell over, straight into love. This coming from someone who has a horrible reputation of getting bored with men really easily, it scared the crap out of me. It totally changed who I was, it made me realize what I had been doing wrong this whole time, it made me want to change my life, it made me want to be a better person, it made me finally realize what being in love was all about. And I also had my heart broken. I was let go, I was completely walked away from by the person who made me feel like being me wasn't such a bad thing.

And now what? I'm at square one again. I'm back at the start, but this time severely broken and a hell of alot more compassionate, caring, and understanding. This has given me alot of time to be completely antisocial, to figure out myself, to make big changes in my life. To realize what I want.

I have too many one sided relationships in my life and I'm cutting them out. I'm sick of hearing how this person hates me for some stupid reason. I am tired of having friends that are only friends with me for their own selfish reasons. I hate hidden agendas.

I just want to get back to me. I need to make sure I'm Ok. I need to make sure that I can do this, that I'll be able to stand back up and get on with my life and not have my heart with someone that won't use it. I want to love again and i want to be loved back and I want to stop living for everyone else and try to make me happy. Because i think I deserve to be happy..... I hope.


VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
carryavengeance:
holy shit...that describes my summer exactly...i got with a girl who changed the world for me, but she turned her back on all that cuz she cant commit to anything for longer than 2 months...she left me for another girl on top of that...i was in a car accident the day after she turned her back on me...i almost died in the crash, she showed no compasion for me & her doing all this really makes me look back...

should i just screen my girls better before i commit? who knows...but right now i feel like i just shouldnt commit to a relationship for a while cuz she made it seem like i can now trust no girls...i just dont want to be hurt anymore...

why do people insist on hurting others...it's selfish of them, cuz they dont think of the other person when they do it...the excuses all turn against you & somehow it's your fault but you are the one left hurt...how does shit like that happen? why does God play games with us like this? doesn't He know this game isn't fun anymore?
Sep 26, 2004
mothra:
That sucks that you think that's a problem. frown
Sep 26, 2004

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