amory

So heres a quick update about things and just what I've had on my mind recently.

This summer i completely fell in love unexpectedly. And not just a little childish crush, I tripped and fell over, straight into love. This coming from someone who has a horrible reputation of getting bored with men really easily, it scared the crap out of me. It totally changed who I was, it made me realize what I had been doing wrong this whole time, it made me want to change my life, it made me want to be a better person, it made me finally realize what being in love was all about. And I also had my heart broken. I was let go, I was completely walked away from by the person who made me feel like being me wasn't such a bad thing.

And now what? I'm at square one again. I'm back at the start, but this time severely broken and a hell of alot more compassionate, caring, and understanding. This has given me alot of time to be completely antisocial, to figure out myself, to make big changes in my life. To realize what I want.

I have too many one sided relationships in my life and I'm cutting them out. I'm sick of hearing how this person hates me for some stupid reason. I am tired of having friends that are only friends with me for their own selfish reasons. I hate hidden agendas.

I just want to get back to me. I need to make sure I'm Ok. I need to make sure that I can do this, that I'll be able to stand back up and get on with my life and not have my heart with someone that won't use it. I want to love again and i want to be loved back and I want to stop living for everyone else and try to make me happy. Because i think I deserve to be happy..... I hope.