"...iggy played guitar, jammin' good with Weird and Gilly,
The spiders from Mars, [s]he played it left hand
But made it too far,
Became the special [wo]man, then we were ...iggy's band.
...
Making love with h[er] ego, ...iggy sucked up into h[er] mind
Like a leper messiah.
When the kids had killed the [wo]man I had to break up the band.
...iggy played guitar."
-David Bowie "Ziggy Stardust [Abridged]"
Iggy's birthday party was loads of fun.
People often come up to me on the street and ask, "Hey, Syd, how do you dance at goth clubs?" I usually smile nervously and then run away, because that's a really weird thing to ask a stranger on the street, and I fear that the person asking me is very unbalanced. For those of you with the good sense not to ask me on the street, yes, there is a very specific way to dance at goth clubs. My method or "method" is as follows:
1. Imagine that you have just been forcibly brought back from the dead against your will by forces beyond your imagining.
2. Imagine the wonderful taste of human brains on your tongue.
NOTE: Human brains taste uncannily like Pepperidge Farm's "Goldfish" crackers.
3. Dance, mother fucker, DANCE!
When they play "Personal Jesus" (and they will), you are not required to mime the crucifixion on the word "Jesus," but I think it's funny. Also, if you mime reaching out and touching faith, you will look like a complete imbecile, but that doesn't stop me from doing it. However, you ARE required to dance on your knees during the chorus of "Bizarre Love Triangle." You should not let your reduced height hinder your quest for delicious brains.
Always remember:
- You can't spell "Severely maladjusted" without "Syd."
- You can't spell "Sweeney Tim is a fucking spaz," without "Sweeney Tim."
"Sweet dreams are made of this.
Who am I to disagree?
I've travelled the world and the seven seas.
Everybody's looking for something."
-The Eurhythmics "Sweet Dreams (The Theme to Every Club I Have Ever Been to, Ever)"
By the way, for those of you who are into that sort of thing, more musical questions have been answered.
--l*P