amorpheus

This morning, I heard Donald Trump come on the radio, signaling that I really should be leaving. For those of you who don't listen to the same radio station as I do in the morning, Trump has this segment right as I'm walking out the door in which everyone pretends that his opinions matter because he has a lot of money. I almost never pay any attention. Today I overheard him say, "When you hear the phrase 'You're fired,' who do you think of?" Then he went on to talk about how he used that phrase on some TV show and now everyone's saying it. I know that no one really thinks of Donald Trump as a humble man, but how big a fucking ego do you have to have before you say something like that? Judy Garland didn't say, "When you hear someone say, 'I don't think we're in Kansas any more,' right after you punch the person who said that in the face, who do you think of?" That's because Judy Garland has class. Also, she has legions of gay men who adore her. I someday aspire to both.

I'd hate to break it to Donald Trump, but people had been saying, "You're fired," long before he came along. He didn't even do anything clever with it. He used "You're fired" in a corporate setting, which was its original intended use. Plus, isn't the point of his inane TV show to get a job working for him? So, isn't he firing people who don't even work for him yet, anyway? That just makes it extra stupid. Saying, "You're fired," is clever when you're in an action movie and you just killed someone using a flamethrower, and not anywhere else. And it is very hard to mistake Donald Trump for an action hero.

You know what? When I hear someone say, "You're fired," I'm never reminded of Donald Trump. I am reminded of something else though - the kind of business advice that you have come to expect from me and that you cannot get from one of Trump's radio segments: In the corporate world, there is no appropriate time to say to your boss, "Hey! I don't go to where you work and knock the dick out of your mouth!"