christmas partys are usually fun, specially with the same ole drunks being there and the stupid people that somehow make you laugh no matter how lame thier jokes are.
i was designated driver and i felt really good about it too.
my brother got sooooo trashed and his girlfriend was really surprised too. we havent seen hiim that drunk in years. reallly.
he and i sat in the truck and talked a little bit after cuase he saw my tattoos and saw my scars and he was practically crying about him being a jackass and not calling or seeing me though i live less than a mile away from him.
we talked about how everyone is scared about me living on my own because i have wanted it for so long and they all know i can do it but just because im the "weird one" in the family and in general i guess, they dont want it to be true. because their perfect children and everyone else whos so "normal" are really really fucked up.
Nathan and i were talking about being Briliiant yet fucked up.
thats me.
im the prettiest wreck you've seen. to put it lightly.
i dont know. its 4am and im not tired one bit.
i got a bottle of wine as a gift for christmas. its fancy wine. it shall be a nice night.
im gonna hope to get some money so i can go to club beat it. really if i dont get to, then my life is sad. i havent left my house since monday, minus the few hours i spent in the ER.
nights like this are the ones i love and hate the most. its lovely, being here alone, happy, being able to just sit and think and be free of all the drama and pain and frustrations my usual life cluttesr my mind with.
yet the fact that i am alone and always am, makes me feel somewhat like a hermit. i should get out more.
i know there are people who want me to go out with them on a date or something, they call, and i entertain it but, i just dont...deliver i guess.... its my own stupidity.
whatever... maybe im tired. maybe i dont know what im talking about.
on a lighternote...i got some whiskey.
take a shot, then maybe ill go tobed.
ps. This-->
looks like a pirate, not a black eye
i was designated driver and i felt really good about it too.
my brother got sooooo trashed and his girlfriend was really surprised too. we havent seen hiim that drunk in years. reallly.
he and i sat in the truck and talked a little bit after cuase he saw my tattoos and saw my scars and he was practically crying about him being a jackass and not calling or seeing me though i live less than a mile away from him.
we talked about how everyone is scared about me living on my own because i have wanted it for so long and they all know i can do it but just because im the "weird one" in the family and in general i guess, they dont want it to be true. because their perfect children and everyone else whos so "normal" are really really fucked up.
Nathan and i were talking about being Briliiant yet fucked up.
thats me.
im the prettiest wreck you've seen. to put it lightly.
i dont know. its 4am and im not tired one bit.
i got a bottle of wine as a gift for christmas. its fancy wine. it shall be a nice night.
im gonna hope to get some money so i can go to club beat it. really if i dont get to, then my life is sad. i havent left my house since monday, minus the few hours i spent in the ER.
nights like this are the ones i love and hate the most. its lovely, being here alone, happy, being able to just sit and think and be free of all the drama and pain and frustrations my usual life cluttesr my mind with.
yet the fact that i am alone and always am, makes me feel somewhat like a hermit. i should get out more.
i know there are people who want me to go out with them on a date or something, they call, and i entertain it but, i just dont...deliver i guess.... its my own stupidity.
whatever... maybe im tired. maybe i dont know what im talking about.
on a lighternote...i got some whiskey.
take a shot, then maybe ill go tobed.
ps. This-->
looks like a pirate, not a black eye
nudwig:
yeah, I'm a hermit too. I think sometimes I chalk it up to not diluting myself or not bothering with things I don't see as genuine, sometimes I think I'm just a dickhead, I suppose either could be true at any given moment. People pull that same shit on me too "Oh, if I would've known you were like that I would've called you on yer birthday, bla bla bla" then the birthday comes around and I don't hear from them. I don't really even care, I can take care of myself, I just don't like people saying hollow shit like that, why bother ya know?