i don't know what's wrong with me lately. i can't write. nothing i put on paper sounds right. most of the time it flows, unstoppable. but right now i feel like a pen whose ink has run out. i have to draw those litttle circles, furiously, trying to get the ink back. then it'll come back for a minute and run out again. everything i write sound juvinille, like something out of a teenager's diary. i think i have too much on my mind that i'm not dealing with. it's pushing the flow down.
my thanksgiving was ok. it could have sucked alot worse. my family is lost to me nowadays except my mom. everyone's spread out all over the map. they've all got their own shit going on, their own families, new houses, kids, extended out of town business trips. if i'd have driven to texas there would have only been 3 (including me) out of 6 anyway so i stayed home. i had a weird feeling about it, like impending doom. thank god for my instincts because my sister's marraige pretty much broke up over the weekend and i wasn't there to witness it. she still called me crying about it and got mad when i told her the truth of the situation. (more mad than when her husband totally fucked her over. i told her to rethink that one quick before i hung up on her.) that by forgiving him for what he did (and it was bad, folks) she is compromising her dignity and being a dumbass. (but i love him! she said.)
fuck. i've had enough of that shit. enough of women taking way less than they deserve. i want to throttle her. smack her around a bit. but then, she can go to her husband for that and maybe she'll even thank him when he spits in her face when he's done. add to that their newly concieved six week old fetus and you have the craziness of the holiday i skipped on.
pumpkin pie, anyone?
on a lighter note, my kitten haiku is carrying a fortune cookie around in her mouth.
my thanksgiving was ok. it could have sucked alot worse. my family is lost to me nowadays except my mom. everyone's spread out all over the map. they've all got their own shit going on, their own families, new houses, kids, extended out of town business trips. if i'd have driven to texas there would have only been 3 (including me) out of 6 anyway so i stayed home. i had a weird feeling about it, like impending doom. thank god for my instincts because my sister's marraige pretty much broke up over the weekend and i wasn't there to witness it. she still called me crying about it and got mad when i told her the truth of the situation. (more mad than when her husband totally fucked her over. i told her to rethink that one quick before i hung up on her.) that by forgiving him for what he did (and it was bad, folks) she is compromising her dignity and being a dumbass. (but i love him! she said.)
fuck. i've had enough of that shit. enough of women taking way less than they deserve. i want to throttle her. smack her around a bit. but then, she can go to her husband for that and maybe she'll even thank him when he spits in her face when he's done. add to that their newly concieved six week old fetus and you have the craziness of the holiday i skipped on.
pumpkin pie, anyone?
on a lighter note, my kitten haiku is carrying a fortune cookie around in her mouth.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
I've been thinking about the daily way of life for lots of people for a really long time now. I can't stand it how people can just go to work, work some crap job so they can afford to pay bills and buy gas so they can survive and keep driving to their job everyday. Human beings weren't made to live lives of servitude to some kind of economic machine. A bunch of people I talk to about how I think the whole you must have a job and work to survive is complete bullshit, and they say I'm lazy, they say I'm a bum. But the fact is, working to live IS total bullshit. Having fun to live, that's a totally different thing. What I do now for cash, I have lots of FUN with. So me going to work is really like me enjoying myself at home. I'm just doing something different, but of equal value to myself. As far as we know, each person has only one life on earth. One life to do everything they can do. It's something that's "Temporary, not infinite". Thus, it makes no logical sense, or illogical sense for that matter, to spend all of it working so you can fucking survive. People should be able to experience the world, meet other people, have an impact, and feel an impact. Life should be something that is FUFILLING to one's self, not something that you use to fufill things that other people, or companies, want. I can never explain to you all of what I believe about this in text, it would have to be a real conversation, because this subject is something I'm very very opinionated about. This is the reason that "Live from the Plantation", and "5-9ers Anthem," really carry a heavy weight with me. These songs are very serious lyrically about life and what is accepted, and to me they should have a great social impact, but people would never let that happen because change in our way of life is something that scares a lot of people. I love the way Mr. Lif makes his song sound so lighthearted and goofy, and yet behind that when one examines the lyrics one finds something of great importance. The man is a genius. Have you heard "Home of the Brave"?? I know this is kinda off the subject of hip hop and philosophy, but Office Space was a very philosophical movie for me, in some ways.
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and you're right. I've been working very hard for a local company that is going places. We've been coming up with all kinds of ideas to expand our business, and I'm loving every minute of it.
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Sorry to rant, ignore anything that sounds stupid.