amok01

so i swallow these pills to push it down
darkness drowning without a sound
try to explain the beauty
of the swirling depths inside of me

i dream of sitting alone
an island made out of stone
at the edge of a vast unquiet sea
and can't call to you to share it with me

it's like mute stars
quiet fire
black butterflies and
bursting flowers
stop up my throat
keep the truth from pushing out
i stay quiet

this medication
shooshes elation
rage greed and grief
fall to sedation

and i am left with nothing
sensibility
a level plane
responsibility
my fire trapped
under glass
i'm screaming
but no one hears me

the truth is
i fly over the
icy rings of saturn
pop a million white clouds
with my fingertips
and smile
i am bigger than this

i could speak in tongues
make snakes listen
i could spit truth
and make stars glisten
but i can't find my voice
under this drugged haze
i keep my head up
waiting for freer days
when the cork is unstopped
and i begin to blaze
screaming phoenix