Let me state for the record that
1:I do not have Marilyn Manson hair. Marilyn Manson has Amitabha hair. That fool calls me twice daily for fashion advice.
2: If you state in your dating profile that you "Drink Alcohol: Occasionally" and then state "My Maximum Level of Drug Use: Drug Free", you are, in fact, a bumbling idiot.
3: Friendster sucks. It's always sucked. It will continue to suck into eternity.
4: Dear Canada: America is way better than you, why the crap do you think we're the most powerful nation? Please be content to have funny accents and bad comedy.
5: Dear Immigrants: You are in America now. Speak American.
6: If you go to the store, and you buy a box of "Fat Free Chocolate Fudge Brownies" you aren't fooling anyone. You're a big fatty, and you might as well embrace it, because you obviously realize that you have a weight problem because you're buying the fat free ones, but GOD DAMNIT YOU'RE STILL BUYING CHOCOLATE FUDGE BROWNIES! go do some fucking situps.
7: If you were that dude in a business suit that saw me fall off my bike yesterday, that wasn't me. So if you go tell your friends about how you saw some kid with weird hair fall off his bike while sitting completely still on the sidewalk, you're just going to make yourself look like a jacktard, because it never happened.
8: Kwanza: WTF? I mean really...?
9: To all jock dudes who played football in highschool, and were the bee's knees: You're not in highschool anymore. When you talk about football games you played in now you just sound like Al Bundy. PS. I wear a size 11, and I'll take the black ones.
10: Dear Two Dudes who work at Subway that were talking about buying a plot of land with all your friends and claiming sovereignty: 1: This is the reason you work at Subway. 2: You smoke way too much weed. 3: Everyone knows it. 4: Never gonna happen. 5: The fact that you can have this conversation with straight faces boggles my puny mind.
That is all.
-Amitabha: Keepin it real since before women could vote.
1:I do not have Marilyn Manson hair. Marilyn Manson has Amitabha hair. That fool calls me twice daily for fashion advice.
2: If you state in your dating profile that you "Drink Alcohol: Occasionally" and then state "My Maximum Level of Drug Use: Drug Free", you are, in fact, a bumbling idiot.
3: Friendster sucks. It's always sucked. It will continue to suck into eternity.
4: Dear Canada: America is way better than you, why the crap do you think we're the most powerful nation? Please be content to have funny accents and bad comedy.
5: Dear Immigrants: You are in America now. Speak American.
6: If you go to the store, and you buy a box of "Fat Free Chocolate Fudge Brownies" you aren't fooling anyone. You're a big fatty, and you might as well embrace it, because you obviously realize that you have a weight problem because you're buying the fat free ones, but GOD DAMNIT YOU'RE STILL BUYING CHOCOLATE FUDGE BROWNIES! go do some fucking situps.
7: If you were that dude in a business suit that saw me fall off my bike yesterday, that wasn't me. So if you go tell your friends about how you saw some kid with weird hair fall off his bike while sitting completely still on the sidewalk, you're just going to make yourself look like a jacktard, because it never happened.
8: Kwanza: WTF? I mean really...?
9: To all jock dudes who played football in highschool, and were the bee's knees: You're not in highschool anymore. When you talk about football games you played in now you just sound like Al Bundy. PS. I wear a size 11, and I'll take the black ones.
10: Dear Two Dudes who work at Subway that were talking about buying a plot of land with all your friends and claiming sovereignty: 1: This is the reason you work at Subway. 2: You smoke way too much weed. 3: Everyone knows it. 4: Never gonna happen. 5: The fact that you can have this conversation with straight faces boggles my puny mind.
That is all.
-Amitabha: Keepin it real since before women could vote.
VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
you made me laugh
that is all
I don't like Santa Barbara very much either. But I'm almost out of here....
On a side note about moose: did you know that a moose can swim up to 15 feet underwater? What would you do if you were snorkeling or something and a moose swam by? I think I would flip out. This blows my mind.