Time: 7:59 PM
Music: Deathcab for Cutie - Live Set
Drink: Columbia Gorge Protein
Oh god.. I wish there was a camera crew that followed me everywhere to document my life. PURE GOLD I TELL YOU!
So, I ride my bike quite a bit.. from home to work, work to home , home to the grocery store, and on and on.. It's a road bike, and I've got the kind of pedals that you need special shoes for, and your feet clip into them. So when I first got the bike it took a little while for me to get used to how to un-clip my feet from the pedals.. and in the process I've fallen over several times in front of people making a complete assdorkface9000 out of myself. Well today takes the cake, by far. By very very far. So I ride home from work, and grab my clothes for Kung Fu and head back out the door. Now, there's this hot girl (at least I think she's hot.. I'm blind so she might not be that hot) that lives next to me.. anyways.. I hop on my bike and take off towards my destination.. as I pass the house she lives in I see someone walking up the stairs, turn my head to see who it is, make eye contact, I realize either a: it's not the girl, or b: It is the girl and I'm totally blind and she's old and not hot, so by the time this processes in my brain I look forward with just enough time to see that I'm riding full speed straight into a giant hedge; right in plain sight of said female. So I hit this giant hedge at full speed, and do a complete flip, flying over the front of the handle bars and sending my bike up into the air over me, and coming down to land on top of me. I'm sure there 's no need to to go into the further details of the event as it should be obvious by now that I've managed to utterly destroy any single other event of sheer embarrasment in my life. I get up, dust off, laugh, and head on my way, all the while trying to act like somehow i MEANT for that to happen.. you know, cause I'm fucking suave and everyone knows it. In fact, I think I'm going to make this my new pickup move. Every time I see a hot girl, or in this case, an unhot old lady, I'll just ride at full speed into the next closest large object and proceed to catapult myself. It can be a competition! Like, the hotter you are, the greater the distance I fly over my handlebars. SIGN UP NOW! OFFER ENDS SOON!
Yes, it's true. I am a complete DORK. dork dork dork dork dork dork dork. Anyways, even if that lady was old and hot, it had to be somewhat flattering.. I mean when is the last time some dude was riding by you, saw you, and then rammed straight into something like a complete idiot? MMhmmm.. that's what I thought, not very often.
In other ironic news.. there will be an article about me in the local paper in regards to appearing to be gay , but actually being straight. Don't ask.
Dear giant fucking hedge in front of un-hot old lady's house,
DIE IN TEH FASE!
Yours Truly,
Amitabha
*update update update*
Here are some pics of me from a recent shoot.
Music: Deathcab for Cutie - Live Set
Drink: Columbia Gorge Protein
Oh god.. I wish there was a camera crew that followed me everywhere to document my life. PURE GOLD I TELL YOU!
So, I ride my bike quite a bit.. from home to work, work to home , home to the grocery store, and on and on.. It's a road bike, and I've got the kind of pedals that you need special shoes for, and your feet clip into them. So when I first got the bike it took a little while for me to get used to how to un-clip my feet from the pedals.. and in the process I've fallen over several times in front of people making a complete assdorkface9000 out of myself. Well today takes the cake, by far. By very very far. So I ride home from work, and grab my clothes for Kung Fu and head back out the door. Now, there's this hot girl (at least I think she's hot.. I'm blind so she might not be that hot) that lives next to me.. anyways.. I hop on my bike and take off towards my destination.. as I pass the house she lives in I see someone walking up the stairs, turn my head to see who it is, make eye contact, I realize either a: it's not the girl, or b: It is the girl and I'm totally blind and she's old and not hot, so by the time this processes in my brain I look forward with just enough time to see that I'm riding full speed straight into a giant hedge; right in plain sight of said female. So I hit this giant hedge at full speed, and do a complete flip, flying over the front of the handle bars and sending my bike up into the air over me, and coming down to land on top of me. I'm sure there 's no need to to go into the further details of the event as it should be obvious by now that I've managed to utterly destroy any single other event of sheer embarrasment in my life. I get up, dust off, laugh, and head on my way, all the while trying to act like somehow i MEANT for that to happen.. you know, cause I'm fucking suave and everyone knows it. In fact, I think I'm going to make this my new pickup move. Every time I see a hot girl, or in this case, an unhot old lady, I'll just ride at full speed into the next closest large object and proceed to catapult myself. It can be a competition! Like, the hotter you are, the greater the distance I fly over my handlebars. SIGN UP NOW! OFFER ENDS SOON!
Yes, it's true. I am a complete DORK. dork dork dork dork dork dork dork. Anyways, even if that lady was old and hot, it had to be somewhat flattering.. I mean when is the last time some dude was riding by you, saw you, and then rammed straight into something like a complete idiot? MMhmmm.. that's what I thought, not very often.
In other ironic news.. there will be an article about me in the local paper in regards to appearing to be gay , but actually being straight. Don't ask.
Dear giant fucking hedge in front of un-hot old lady's house,
DIE IN TEH FASE!
Yours Truly,
Amitabha
*update update update*
Here are some pics of me from a recent shoot.
VIEW 25 of 39 COMMENTS
you okay? let me guess... yer plates? hope you didn't get a ticket!! that wold suck ass... especially because we were just talking about that stuff!!! i'd call ya, but dont got the digits..
get a good nite sleep. tomorrow will be a good day.
xoxo