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amitabha

Mountain View, Hawaii

Member Since 2003

Followers 201 Following 143

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Wednesday Oct 15, 2003

Oct 15, 2003
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Time: 8:21 AM
Music: David Bowie & Phillip Glass - Heroes
Drink: Muthafuckin WATER bitch!

Poetry is gay, and so I refuse to comply with Journal Poetry Day
Why the hell would I want to take some random words
And rearrange them in stanzas so they rhyme verse after verse
Only a faggot would think that was fun.

I would like to dedicate this next journal entry to all the lurkers out there who may have stumbled upon my journal through some random feat of SG exploration. I would like to give you a little bit of advice as to avoid a life of humiliation, ridicule, and failure. Please sit back, get your cup of coffee and note pad, and pay attention.

Todays lesson is: 10 Sure-Fire Ways To Make A Good Impression On SG
1: Use the Contact Feature, and send every SG you think is attractive a private message telling them just that.. be sure to include broken English, poor grammar, and for extra credit attach one photograph of your genital area.
2: Completely ignore the fact that after a while it gets difficult to come up with new topics in the Dirty Talk Forum, surely no one has thought to talk about Anal Sex, To Shave or Not to Shave, or The Benefits and Pitfalls of Threesomes.
3: Take one topic, and post it on EVERY forum as fast as you can. The goal here is to see your name and topic listed under every discussion forum at the same time. Everyone else has already tried that, but were not fast enough.
4: Add every person you can possibly think of to your Friends List. The longer your friends list is, the better. Take some of the pillar members of the community, for example MisterSatan: He has a lot of friends on his list, and everyone likes him; therefore there must be a direct correlation between adding random people to your list, and your popularity status.
5: Contrary to popular belief Suicidegirls.com is, in fact, a dating service. Feel free to make as many posts as necessary informing everyone of your A/S/L , followed up by a Yo girlzz U R Hawtt! Holla at a playa!
6: Never ever ever bother to use 4th grade grammar, spelling, or punctuation rules.. were all intelligent adults here, we can figure out what youre saying. Dont waste your energy.
7: No one here likes anyone who has an attitude, is a smart ass, or insults other interest groups (ie: gays, homos, dirty hippies, rastafarians, republicans, etc) We are all entitled to our own opinions, so keep your faggot ass comments to yourself.
8: When all else fails, jump on the bandwagon! Thinking for yourself is so clich.
9: Never fucking insult kittens.. Im serious about this one.. I will personally hunt you down and gut you like a pig if I see any of your anti-kitten propaganda.
10: Think of a great new feature like LIVE CHAT! What a fucking profound idea! We are all blessed to have someone like you with a great imagination and the ability to come up with features we dont already have. You are always welcome here.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
rybo:
cats are fuckin lame.
btw, im heading outta this place. im sure ill still run into you now and then anyway. but I figured I would rather let you know instead of randomly dissapearing.
keep kickin ass mutha fucka.

skull
Oct 15, 2003
fractal:
SLUT
Oct 16, 2003

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